Dim Future In These Parts For Full-Time, Practicing Bigots

Adoption is always an adventure. It’s triple the fun when you get three at once and even more interesting when the kids are from a different country and of a different race.

We decided to adopt when our older kids were about to graduate from high school and we weren’t ready for an empty nest. We put our name on a list and attended a couple of meetings.

About three weeks later, the phone rang. Would we take three boys? Our paperwork wasn’t complete and we’d been told that placement was months away, but the kids were ready and we said yes. We didn’t know it at the time, but agreeing to this speeded-up adoption probably saved us from much of the counseling that prospective adoptive parents are forced by the state to endure.

Delivery took place at Sea Tac International Airport south of Seattle. The kids came off the plane bearing gifts of candy and bread, wearing an odd assortment of clothes that included a Playboy shirt. We accepted the gifts, signed a paper and became the proud parents of three preschool boys. Three delightful, puzzled, undernourished, Spanish-speaking sons.

Our neighbors greeted my wife with a baby shower and the boys were the hit of the party. This all-white neighborhood adopted these little Hispanic kids with such enthusiasm that we almost became jealous.

Our first brush with racism came when a Portland soccer team challenged the ages of three of our players - our three nonwhite players. It happened again that fall in a state championship game, when a Vancouver, Wash., team introduced the kids to the world of racial insults. The motivation this gave our team probably won us the game.

I don’t know if it’s just dumb luck or if the Portland air inspires nastiness, but for some reason, racism was a problem only when playing soccer teams from that area. We never saw it in other sports or in our local schools. We did, however, have one suspicious incident involving the Spokane police.

About three years ago, two of the boys were stopped in north Spokane at 7:30 a.m., while on their way to work. No ticket was given, but the police ordered the oldest out of the truck while they checked him out. This “check” was completely unwarranted. I was furious, until I realized that in the 12 years that we’d had the kids, racial incidents had been almost nonexistent. I also have two brothers with minority wives and children. Their experiences are similar to ours.

Thus, the question: If racism is as pervasive as the media would have us believe, why hasn’t my family seen more of it? It’s not possible for our sons to pass for anything but black or Hispanic, or for my wife and me to not appear white. We are clearly a mixed-race family, which is supposed to be the worst of both worlds. Since I’m not famous and have no influence over public opinion, why have we been spared?

For one thing, we often confuse racism with other things. Much of what we call racism is actually jerkism. A jerk isn’t a racist; he’s just someone who likes to hurt people.

Other so-called racism is really excuse-ism. This is as true of the white male, who blames his failures on affirmative action, as it is when a minority female blames her lack of promotion on the white, male power structure. Then there’s careerism. The college affirmative action director will find racism behind every tree, whether it’s there or not. His career depends on it.

Our sons are grown and almost gone. In high school, John was recruited by the football coach, who liked his abilities, and cut by the basketball coach, who didn’t. He made All-League in football and soccer, and now works for a builder.

Julian left home for almost two years. During this time, he lived with five different families - one black, one Hispanic and three white. Eventually, he returned home, went back to school and graduated.

Jacinto didn’t look for work after graduation. A white heating contractor contacted him and gave him an apprenticeship.

Since then, we’ve had the usual ups and downs and life hasn’t always been fair, but I can say with certainty that the schools and employers have treated us no differently from the standard white family.

Let’s stop beating ourselves up for things we didn’t do. Racial hate crimes - and there are very few - are usually committed by loners or small groups of isolated, ignorant people, who aren’t part of and do not represent mainstream society. Our community is not a reservoir of racism. We are good people moving toward a bright future.

What is that future? My wife and I come from lily white backgrounds.

Things have changed. We have 32 children, grandchildren, daughters-in-law, nieces, nephews and siblings’ spouses. As a result of adoption and marriage, 13 of the 32 are Hispanic, black or Oriental.

When I attend Hoopfest or other events catering to the younger generation, it’s clear to me that this blending of the races is occurring at an accelerating rate throughout society. In a few years, it will be impossible to divide us into little racial groups. Those who promote such divisions will fade into history.

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