Meaningful Work, Whatever It May Be, Really Counts
Paul Simon said it well: When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, It’s a wonder I can think at all.
With all due respect to Mead High School, I truly remember only the things I was interested in back then - literature, writing, socializing, etc. The beauty of college was that I never again had to open another book I didn’t choose, and I took great care to avoid those with lots of equations, theorems and numbers. (This intense dislike for math was the deciding factor in choosing journalism over medicine.)
But one thing stands very clear in my memory about high school - a teacher named Dan Butler.
One day in class, he overheard a student being teased about his job flipping burgers. Mr. Butler got up in front of that class and stared at each of us. We were all kind of freaked out because he looked so intense.
“Don’t you ever be ashamed of the job that you do.” He said, mostly to the guy who was being teased but we all knew he was talking to us all: “I don’t care what it is you do for a living,- flipping burgers or picking up trash - you be proud of what you do and don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be.”
That is truly one of the greatest things I was ever told, in high school or college.
Granted, Mr. Butler was speaking to a bunch of 17- and 18-year-olds whose main source of income probably was flipping burgers or picking up trash. We really didn’t care then the way we do now about what kind of car we drove (if you even had one, that was good enough), how great your house was (hey, it was your parents’ house) or how much money you actually made (minimum wage in 1986 was somewhere around $3.10, I think).
And so I use Mr. Butler’s advice every day.
When people ask me what I do, I tell them I am a full-time mother of three kids under 6. Some people, many more than you might think, have the gall to ask me if I have a real job. I reply that I also have a paying job and is that what they mean? It usually is.
I don’t hesitate to mention that I am the luckiest mom in the world whose wonderful employers allow me to transcribe medical reports part time, at home, so I can stay with the little people in my life as well as spend more time with my husband, Tony.
Still, I get that attitude: You work at home? Is that really working?
Truly, about the same number of men as women are guilty of that attitude, although my favorite question came from a man who was about my dad’s age. He peered at me and asked, “What do you do when you’re sitting at home all day?”
I could have illustrated my point by dropping off my children at his office for just one day and telling him to get his usual amount of work done, and still watch the kids. But I didn’t. Butler’s advice gives me the freedom not to have to defend my choices.
I probably don’t get as much respect as other women for what I do but respect doesn’t make me happy; my family does.
I probably don’t make as much money as some of my mother’s friends who work full time. But again, I am paid with kisses, hugs, endless Dr. Suess readings and Chutes and Ladders games.
Sure, nice cars are OK but mine is great, too. It’s just not as new. I wouldn’t trade the time I have with my kids for a huge car that sits all day outside of an office where I am working to make the huge car’s huge payments.
I am proud of what I do and I thank Mr. Butler for it. If only he could have taught everyone the same thing, I believe people would follow their hearts instead of their checkbooks.
All the mothers (or fathers, or grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) who traded the material things that society judges us on for the incredibly important and difficult job of raising children full time should hold their heads high and realize they are of the utmost importance in this world.
I have been a mother for only six years. I am already reaping the benefits of staying home with three loving, affectionate (OK, maybe not the 20-month-old yet) and intelligent children for whom I would give up anything.
You just couldn’t pay me the way they do.
xxxx