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Anyone notice that the Seahawks haven’t won a game since Paul Allen shaved his beard?

No, Washington State hasn’t won a football game at USC since Ike was the two-putt king of the Oval Office. But Oberlin broke a 40-game losing streak last weekend and they’re blowing up balloons at Prairie View this weekend in anticipation of the end of that 69-game death march and … OK, maybe we’re prospecting for omens.

Interesting to see that Carl Lewis’ last race will be an exhibition relay at halftime of a Houston football game. Heaven forbid he might do something to help his sport, like taking his farewell lap at an American track meet.

I’m elated for anyone inducted into any hall of fame - but when even the local softball shrine starts taking them in 12 at a time, it’s obvious that fame is not only relative, it’s not even a requisite.

Sure, this way he gets $2.175 million. But if 6-foot-10 bonus baby Ryan Anderson really wanted to pitch on the same staff as Randy Johnson, the quickest way would have been to become a marginal reliever with some other team and wait for Woody Woodward to trade for him.

In the next day’s trading on the stock market after the Seahawks’ two humiliating losses, Paul Allen’s Microsoft shares increased in worth by $700 million. Yeah, 0-16 is really going to bum him out.

I remember when Bill Frieder called Pullman “a dump” - “dump” now being the operative word in his career.

If you’re going to take over the family business, better to use the Pete Rose Jr. method and not the John Gotti Jr. method.

This just in: Kermit Davis still at LSU.

I could see Shawn Kemp being the next sports figure to get caught trying to take a gun on an airplane. Except that he’d probably miss it.

Some people like to make fun of Montana as the home of the Freemen and the Unabomber, but up there in Whitefish, Steve Howe keeps hollering, “Hey, look at me!”

I know that in motorsports there’s no such thing as a bad sponsor. But how is Ernie Irvan going to keep a straight face while driving the Skittles car?

My favorite quote of the summer was Mike Frier, the ex-Seahawk, saying he’s glad to see Lamar Smith accept his responsibility for the car crash that left Frier paralyzed. I must have missed the part where Smith forced Frier at gunpoint into a car with a drunk driver. Or maybe it was all the paparazzi.

The shame of the United States in finishing 15th in the World Fly Fishing Championships - won by the French, no less - is that 100,000 drunken Yanks weren’t lining the banks of the Snake River chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A!”

The best baseball realignment plan I’ve seen to this point is the one that has Bud Selig moving into the mail room.

Now that the International Olympic Committee has recognized ballroom dancing as a sport, can Nike’s Air Astaire line be far behind?

Let’s see. Damon Huard vs. BYU: 18 for 23, no interceptions, 285 yards. Shane Fortney vs. Iowa: 19 for 40, four interceptions, 179 yards. Yeah, Lambo really screwed up not putting the Husky quarterback job up for grabs.

Just wondering: Does police chief Terry Mangan plan on adding manpower for next month’s visit by the Portland TrailBlazers?

When Mike Price said, “L.A. or Pullman - when you look at the big picture, they’re both just dots on the map,” he didn’t mention whether that’s the same map Washington State uses in its geography classes.

Perhaps what the Seahawks need is a catchy nickname for its defense. Is “The Burn Unit” taken?

So I’m guessing the next Eagle Hardware commercial will feature Edgar Martinez showing Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez how to build a fence out of bats.

You can contact John Blanchette by voice mail at 459-5577, extension 5509.

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