Cheap Seats

Telling it like it is

A couple of American Leaguers who have had tough times this season have been blunt in their self-assessments.

Chicago White Sox right-hander Jaime Navarro summed up his year this way: “I lead the league in earned runs, hits, everything. I should trade statistics with a hitter.”

And Cleveland Indians third baseman Matt Williams, on struggling the first four months of the season after being traded from the Giants: “It’s human nature to press. Especially when you’re stinking up the joint.”

Not razor-sharp observers

A football first may have occurred in Saturday’s Arkansas-SMU game at Shreveport, La., when the Razorbacks scored a touchdown and didn’t know it.

And after the phantom score, the scene became so bizarre that Arkansas thought it was running a third-down play when it actually was executing a failed 2-point conversion attempt.

Here’s what happened: On second-and-9 from the SMU 11, Anthony Lucas came back for a pass and caught it just inside the goal line. However, his momentum carried him back onto the field and he went out of bounds near the 1.

At least one official signaled touchdown, but the Arkansas bench, including coach Danny Ford, never saw the sign.

When the ball was spotted by the umpire at the 3, on the right hash mark, Ford thought it was third down. He sent in a play, a rollout pass that failed.

Instead of fourth down, though, officials told Arkansas it had failed on a 2-point conversion.

“I’m still pretty confused,” Ford said a day after the game, which SMU won 31-9. “The guy that signaled the touchdown was standing behind the cheerleaders from our standpoint. We didn’t see it. They put the ball on the 3 on the right hash, and if you go for 2, they usually ask where you want the ball.

“By the time we saw the ball on the 3, one of the coaches (in the press box) said they called it a touchdown. We tried to get a timeout, but it was too late.”

Andy, you look stunning

Mariners infielder Andy Sheets was made to wear a white satin party dress with red pumps on a team flight as part of a prank played on the team’s rookies.

When asked about the prank, Sheets didn’t spend a lot time on the subject.

“I can’t talk,” said Sheets. “I have dates lined up already.”

Rhodes on wrong road

Philadelphia Eagles coach Ray Rhodes was laughing Tuesday afternoon about a minor car accident that put him in the hospital briefly earlier in the day.

“I wished the car had hit me,” said Rhodes, who only hours earlier had gone through a 21-20 Monday night loss to Dallas that ended when the Eagles muffed an easy field-goal attempt as time expired.

He stopped police from calling an ambulance.

“Believe me, when (an ambulance) picks me up, I ain’t breathing any more,” said Rhodes.

Only his team chokes.

The last word …

“Apparently, just missing the cut as a medal sport was sticking your hand under your armpit and making loud noises.”

- Steve Rosenbloom, Chicago Tribune columnist, on the news that several sports, including trampolining, have gained eligibility to become Olympics events.

, DataTimes