Students Need To Act Their Age

They were dressed in tuxes and fancy dresses and rode in the limo they’d rented for the evening. That’s scary right there, because they were only middle-school students.

But here’s the detail that really provokes a case of the willies. While riding in the limo, they drank sparkling cider from champagne glasses.

Something is crazy here. And someone, please, stop it. A story in Friday’s newspaper detailed a disturbing trend in Inland Northwest middle schools. Students, ages 13 and 14, are playing grown-up at school dances.

They spend lots of money on prom clothes. They act like junior rock stars and rent limos. They go out to nice dinners. And the parents pay the bills.

Those who think this behavior is OK argue that middle school only comes once a lifetime. Special memories should be created. Some parents rationalize that the children are at least safe in a chauffeured car. Maybe parents think that their hardworking children - pressured to get good grades, be super athletes and not cause too much hassle to stressed-out parents - deserve some perks. Maybe they remember their own painful middle-school memories and hope to eliminate the same for their children.

It’s crazy.

Once upon a time middle-school age was considered too young to even attend boy-girl functions. Dances, or “mixers,” as we old fogeys sometimes called them, were a perk of high school, something to look forward to and dream about.

Now middle-school dances are as much a part of the adolescent experience as sports and science fairs. Perhaps we can’t turn back the clock on that, but the escalation can stop here and now.

Some middle schools are doing their part. They hold the dances right after school, eliminating the opportunity to go home and change into the expensive dress or rent the tux and the limo.

But parents must do their part, too. They must be aware that this trend is more damaging than darling. Our children are being yanked from childhood into adult world in every area of their lives. Provide the trappings of adulthood to your adolescent - the clothes, the dinners out, the faux champagne, the chauffeur - and you’re sure to invite some of the dark side, too.

The dark side includes underage drinking, premature sex and hearts broken to bits because they weren’t designed to handle adult-size emotions.

This trend is easy to eliminate. Suppose your children tell you that they are making plans for the next middle-school dance. They want to buy a new dress or rent a tux or hire a limo or they ask for restaurant recommendations.

They might also tell you that limos and tuxes are what everybody is doing. They might name a child you know and like, a child of parents you know and like, and inform you that this child has been given permission.

They might ask for money. They might not. They might be so excited they are willing to use their own money. Doesn’t matter.

Your answer? First, you laugh at the preposterousness of a 13-year-old acting like a senior in high school.

Then you say one word: “No.”