Cheap Seats

A stretch to call it exercise

The seventh-inning stretch won’t help anybody work off that extra order of nachos.

“We debated it back and forth and decided there really is no benefit to the seventh-inning stretch,” says Tricia Sulita, a physical therapist at the University of Illinois Medical Center. As far as “circulation in the backside … it does help stretch out the back. We do encourage people with back problems to change positions. Especially in watching the Cubs, they don’t get to stand up and cheer that often.”

Stamp of disapproval

We wuz robbed!

That legendary lament of the Brooklyn Dodgers fan echoed once again down Flatbush Avenue last week with the announcement that the worst day in the borough’s fabled history will be the subject of a postage stamp.

The U.S. Postal Service said that the famous (in Brooklyn, infamous) “shot heard ‘round The world” - Bobby Thomson’s ninth-inning, three-run homer off Ralph Branca to give the New York Giants the 1951 pennant - will be depicted on one of 15 stamps to be issued to commemorate the 1950s.

“How much will it cost?” Branca asked with a laugh. “They ought to raise the price to a dollar.”

“Brooklyn fans probably won’t like it a lot,” he said, “but it’s probably the most dramatic moment in baseball history. I can understand it. You have to remember, in Brooklyn, they weren’t so much fans - it was a love affair.”

Just how bad was it in Brooklyn after Thomson delivered the fatal blow?

This is what the New York Daily News’ Art Smith wrote the next day: “Ain’t no use for the sun to shine in Brooklyn anymore. Don’t matter if it rains or snows or the skies fall down. Who gives a damn?”

Always a circus in Cincinnati

Cincinnati Reds’ manager Jack McKeon was forced to take part in the cavalcade of animals parading around Cinergy Field on opening day, which included an elephant and camel. McKeon had to hold a homing pigeon until the final high note of the national anthem, then let the bird soar.

“I’ve released a lot of players,” McKeon grumbled, “but never a pigeon.”

What, no Schottzie 02?

No saving Grace

It’s a good thing for first baseman Mark Grace that the Chicago Cubs hold spring training in Mesa, Ariz. Florida has been anything but his Sunshine State.

Last year, Grace pulled a hamstring during the season-opening series in Miami and wound up on the disabled list. This year, in the Cubs’ lone exhibition in Florida against the Montreal Expos, Grace fouled a ball off his right foot and fractured his big toe on the eve of the season opener.

“If I stayed in Florida a week, I’d be dead,” Grace concluded.

Trail of trepidation

One of the retro features of Arizona’s Bank One Ballpark is the strip of dirt connecting the pitchers mound to the home-plate area.

“We think it’s a nice, traditional look,” Diamondbacks’ manager Buck Showalter said. “Of course, a lot of people have been telling me I should get a strip from the mound to the dugout.”

The last word …

“Bigger and better shotguns.”

- Hunting enthusiast and Cubs pitcher Mark Clark, asked how his new $5-million contract has changed his life.