I Want To Be A Role Model For Others With This Disease

You might not think that a paranoid schizophrenic who likes heavy metal music could make a positive contribution to the community, but that is precisely what I am trying to do. I now successfully manage my schizophrenia. In some ways I am unique, but I believe other schizophrenics can do what I did.

I receive Supplemental Security Income and medical coupons. I live in a subsidized apartment. I have worked for the past five and a half years. More important to me than anything I accomplish is what I believe I can help others accomplish as a role model. I would be delighted if, 20 years from now, young schizophrenics looked at me and others like myself and felt they could achieve something as well. I don’t want the next generation of schizophrenics to look at me and say: “Good grief, will I be like that when I get older?”

First, I had to accept my illness. Acceptance persuaded me to take medication. New medicines make schizophrenia a treatable illness instead of a lifelong curse. I have taken Navane every day for six years. While most schizophrenics are hospitalized several times, because of early intervention and medication, I myself have never been hospitalized.

Second, I had to take responsibility for my illness. That meant taking my medication by myself for myself, instead of because the doctor/therapist/ case manager told me to.

It took me much longer to become responsible for my illness than it did to accept it. Becoming responsible required understanding, which I naturally lacked during my psychotic stage. For several months I fluctuated between hyperactivity and sedation. Gradually, I realized I needed more medication when I couldn’t fall asleep at night and less medication when I was groggy. I did not relapse.

Now my goal is to work full time in order to be independent and support my wife. Like many schizophrenics, I am ashamed to be on government assistance. While my current situation is the envy of many other schizophrenics, the treatability of schizophrenia means that expectations can be raised for people like me.

I hope that telling my story will encourage other schizophrenics, as well as their family members, all of whom suffer tremendously from the disease. I would consider my life to be worthwhile if I did all I could to eradicate the stereotypes surrounding schizophrenia.

MEMO: Your Turn is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion pages. To submit a Your Turn column for consideration, contact Rebecca Nappi at 459-5496 or Doug Floyd at 459-5466 or write Your Turn, The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615.