I Wish You All Once And Future Newness Of Spirit
Winter has come and put the spring to sleep. It is remarkable to me that, in a few short months, flowers and leaves will once again bloom from this seemingly endless slumber.
This New Year’s, however, I have wondered not about leaves and flowers, but about time and years - things that spring does not give a second chance.
Looking ahead just a couple of weeks, I also am wondering about a birthday I am not sure deserves welcome.
Turning 30 has a nasty reputation - more than just black balloons, “Over the Hill” party themes and greeting cards touting the downfalls of “old” age.
Just recently, at a grocery store, a sign told me that if I was “fortunate enough to look younger than 30” I would be carded when buying alcoholic beverages. I was so tempted to buy a bottle of wine just to see where I rated.
Not until other people raised the issue - making it a conversation piece that evoked tales of birthday torture, embarrassment and seemingly total disregard for the person celebrating a 30th year - did I begin to think leaving town for the entire month might be a good idea.
I have resorted to begging, pleading and blatant, shameless threats to the people in my life to spare me pain and agony on my birthday. But, of course, reality prevails. A birthday is only one day. One short, 24-hour span of time which, on any other day, flies on wings of speed.
That one day will be one I should want to forget. But the rest of the year, decade and, for that matter, life, is up to me.
Beyond the black party favors (I prefer roses), the humiliation (a quiet dinner in a place that doesn’t provide crayons and a placemat to color would be a dream) and the jokes (lots and lots of prayers, please), it comes right down to what novelist Margaret Atwood once said: “For years I wanted to be older and now I am.”
Maybe “older” isn’t the right word. According to poet Emily Dickinson, “We turn, not older with years, but newer each day.”
Newer I can do. Newer is good. Newer sounds like it may involve shopping.
So I propose a New Year’s toast to everyone who is feeling the pinch of time:
Every day, to be newer, kinder than the day before, a little better than we think we can be and, above all, true to ourselves. Newer in that we will learn from each mistake - embracing today’s gifts is difficult if we are holding on too tight to yesterday’s problems.
What 30 will bring may still be mystery to me but of a few things I am very sure. I will always be young in my heart. I will always celebrate the little girl that lives inside of me. And I will always, always show my picture ID when buying wine.
Hey, I might need it.
xxxx