What To Read

“Bimbos of the Death Sun”

This is a science-fiction novel by Sharon McCrumb heavily loaded with facts about harmful rays emitting from the sun.

In the story, to publicize his book, also entitled “Bimbos of the Death Sun,” professor Jay Omega attends a sci-fi convention with his girlfriend, hoping to avoid anyone who actually knows him. But he is thrust into the midst of characters including a Scottish folk singer and a couple who want to get married as “Star Trek” characters Spock and Saavik.

One of the most notable characters is features author Appin Dungannon. Dungannon is a short little snot who wrote a popular series of Viking adventures that has sparked worship from the more pitiful sci-fi fans. Appin hates his fans, and does much to prove it. Watch for a great scene where Dungannon faces a fan seeking many autographs because “Someday you’ll be dead and I’ll be rich.”

Absolutely no purpose is served by McCrumb’s book, which makes it positively delightful. Sometimes the best books are written by people who just tell stories.

“Pest Control”

Bill Fitzhugh writes like a friend of mine, also named Bill. In fact, after reading Fitzhugh’s novel, “Pest Control,” I called up my friend and accused him of writing a book behind my back. He insisted he didn’t, and since Fitzhugh’s picture looks nothing like my friend, I have to believe him.

Both Bills have really warped senses of humor, and Fitzhugh’s is evident in “Pest Control.”

Exterminator Bob Dillon quits his job and begins developing new hybrids of assassin bugs for a more natural pesticide. Somehow, a guy named Marcel gets the idea that Bob is a real assassin, and hires him to off a powerful Swiss figure.

When the guy dies, though not by Bob’s doing, Bob is quickly named one of the best killers in the world. This gets Bob on the hit lists of many insecure assassins: a beautiful woman who leaves white chocolate truffles in her victims’ mouths, a cross-dressing dwarf, and a Shaq-lookalike are just a few of the folks gunning for Bob, who ends up bonding with the world’s best killer.

I tell you, the similarities to the Bill I know are uncanny.