Modesty Covers Host Of Variables

Believe it or not, men and women aren’t created alike.

Men tend to be bigger, hairier, more competitive and can belch on command. Women are softer, gabbier, think crying babies are beautiful and consider men disgusting at times. In other words, the two sexes generally are crazy about each other. They come with different equipment. And most of us would say, “Vive la difference.”

Most, but not all. On a hot day in Moscow last week, three women, all Earth First! activists, demonstrated for their version of gender equity - with chests bared, like their five male companions.

They were arrested for indecent exposure after Moscow police gave them two chances to put their shirts back on. Now, they claim Moscow police discriminated against them. Women’s groups should run, not walk, from this one.

The three women - Lori Graves, 28, and Natalie Shapiro, 36, both of Moscow; and Stacy Temple, 21, of Roseland, N.J. - deserve credit for having the courage to go to jail for their beliefs, no matter how goofy. But no sympathy. Or support. Their stand for what is at best a radical fringe matter distracts from far more important women’s causes, such as equal pay for equal work, equal opportunity and a harassment-free workplace. It also defies centuries-old standards in this country and common sense.

Try as they might, the Earth First!ers aren’t going to persuade America that a woman’s breasts are asexual. Nudists would say we’re inhibited. Moralists would say the impromptu protest is another example of our downward plunge into the sewer. Maybe they’d quote an old Proverb: “A beautiful woman lacking modesty and discretion is like a fine gold ring in a pig’s snout.” But it doesn’t take a preacher of hellfire and damnation to realize the obvious: Men aren’t wired to believe a woman’s chest is sexually neutral. Hugh Hefner capitalized on male voyeurism and unhaltered tops 40-plus years ago to build his seedy soft-porn empire.

The topless-in-Moscow three should keep their shirts on - and urge their male playmates to do so, too. Many young men aren’t as hot with their shirts off as they might think. Then, the sight of soft beer bellies and chests jiggling behind a mower next door isn’t appealing, either.

A dose of modesty wouldn’t hurt us. Most have parts that shouldn’t be shown to anyone other than a lover. That’s why God created back yards.