Cheap Seats

When will those fans quit complaining?

It has been reported that a Mayan basketball-like court has been discovered in Chiapas, Mexico, which reportedly dates back to 1400 BC.

Said Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Dispatch, “The key clue was the unearthed carvings of Robert Parish shooting a turn-around jumper.”

If umpires read, they must see, right?

The Chicago White Sox management has told Frank Thomas to stop criticizing the umpires publicly.

“Frank has said some things in the newspapers, and the umpires read the newspapers,” general manager Ron Schueler said. “I asked him to try and keep it under control and let me do it the proper way, through the proper channels.”

Thomas wouldn’t comment on the umpires any further, but something is bothering him. Last year’s American League batting champ is hitting .274.

Can’t he hit that with his eyes shut?

The Mark McGwire Report, Part III

Philadelphia Flyers captain Eric Lindros was asked, if he were in baseball, how would he pitch to Mark McGwire: “First off, I’d move the pitcher’s mound back farther, to about 3 feet in front of second base. Then I’d pitch and get out of the way.”

The unkindest cut of all

From the Gallery column in the San Diego Union-Tribune:

“Much has been made of the 10-run mercy rule in high school baseball. Gallery proposes a 10-inch mercy rule for all journalists. If you can’t make the point in 10 inches, try another profession. Become a politician.”

Within a couple shots of the leader?

Doug Brecht wasn’t worried when he heard gunshots near the second fairway Saturday during the second round of the Sara Lee Classic women’s golf tournament in Nashville.

There’s a target-shooting course near the Hermitage Golf Course.

Then a shot whistled through the trees.

“At that point, I called security,” the tournament official said.

A few people reportedly ducked, but play never stopped as police searched through the trees and at the banks of the nearby Cumberland River. The off-target shooter was not found.

“Since we heard that one shot come through the trees, not another shot was fired in the area. Obviously, it’s a random-type thing,” Brecht said.

Brecht said he thought someone was either practicing or hunting squirrels until he heard the stray shot.

Ah, those Expos of long ago

EA Sports did something Expos management couldn’t do. It took Montreal’s 1994 team, which had the best record in baseball when the 1994 strike hit, and kept it intact.

In a simulated computer matchup, the Expos, led by players like Larry Walker, Pedro Martinez and John Wetteland, beat the Toronto Blue Jays in the 1998 World Series.

The last word …

“One-on-one is like watching corn grow. It’s not very exciting. This is a five-on-five game.”

- Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan on players who insist on making plays by themselves