Cheap Seats
Well, it figured
McDonald’s now has Big Mac. And Sammy Sosa, too.
Both of baseball’s home run kings will be in the restaurant chain’s latest ad campaign, the fast food company announced last week.
The television ads, featuring the company’s Big Mac sandwich, are an attempt to capitalize on this year’s stirring home run race. Sosa’s spots will begin airing Saturday, and McGwire’s next Thursday.
No need to super size this Big Mac.
Taking him to school
While light heavyweight boxer Roy Jones has designs of belting around part-time schoolteacher Otis Grant inside the ring during their bout next month, outside of the ring, he only wants to lavish praise on the unheralded challenger.
“I like the fact that Otis is actually the type of guy that I think boxing should be full of,” Jones said of Grant, who is taking a leave of absence from his job teaching mentally challenged teens at a high school in suburban Montreal to train for the fight.
“He is a perfect guy to let your kids watch and model themselves after because he works hard, he has good ethics, he is a good person and you can’t ask for more than that,” Jones said.
“I am very proud to give a person like him an opportunity to be in the ring with me because most of the guys who I fight, I don’t want to be in the ring with. I would rather just take them over behind one of these buildings and take care of business.”
Earl has plenty of fight left
It’s nice to see former major league manager Earl Weaver has mellowed after all these years. After watching the controversial play in the ALCS in which Travis Fryman was hit in the back at first base with a throw but not called for interference, Weaver had a succinct response.
“All I know is, (umpire) Jim Evans is a little wimp who can’t make up his mind and you can quote me!”
Well, baseball can’t fine him anyway.
“I had a bad day today,” he said. “I lost over $200 on the golf course. That’s as bad as any damn fine.”
He could always fill the Cheap Seats
Dan Quisenberry, the former major league relief pitcher, who died Sept. 30, was known for his off-the-wall humor. A sampling:
Describing a drive back to the mound by Wade Boggs: “It played pinball wizard with my legs. It lit up all my bones and won a free game.”
“Most pitchers fear losing their fastball. Since I don’t have one, the only thing I fear is fear itself.”
On relief pitchers: “We’re parasites. We live off the people who spend two hours on the field.”
His cup was half full
When Kansas City scored its 17-6 NFL victory over Seattle at Arrowhead Stadium on Oct. 4 in a torrential rain, there was a 54-minute delay caused because of lightning.
Reacted Chiefs center Tim Grunhard: “The good thing for the fans was that if they were drinking a beer or Coke, their cup never got empty. As for the lightning, I just stood next to the tallest guy on the line.”
The last word …
“The Angels are just a plaything to Disney. Trillions and trillions of coin, and it all goes to Tinkerbell.”
- Bruce Jenkins in the San Francisco Chronicle on Disney chairman Michael Eisner making jokes about the team’s annual collapse.