Don’T Gamble On Damon’S Latest Flick
“Rounders” (Rated R)
When I saw the trailers for “Rounders” I thought, “Hey, I like Matt Damon. I like Edward Norton. What can be better than a movie with both of them?” Then I saw the movie.
IT WAS ABOUT POKER! Is there anything more boring than watching people play cards? I’d rather watch paint dry than watch people play poker. I guess it’s supposed to be suspenseful but frankly, I found it silly.
“Rounders” is about Mike McDermott (Damon), a failed gambler who’s trying to get control of his life. He had quit gambling when his friend Worm (Norton) gets out of jail. Worm persuades Mike to help him settle some bad debts, and soon Mike is back at the poker table trying to save his life from the Russian mob.
See, even this brief overview sounds bad.
John Malkovich as TeddyKGB, Russian mob leader/poker king, and John Turturro as Joey Knish, a street vendor/poker player, are the only good parts in this film. They are hilarious with all their quirks while they play poker. Malkovich is great to watch. He seems to have a great time messing with his Russian accent and playing with his Oreos.
Norton’s Worm character is nothing more than a sniveling loser who should have been killed after his first half-hour on screen. Damon is positively horrible in this film. He always looks like he is about to cry — which is totally out of character.
Gretchen Mol plays Jo, Mike’s girlfriend who finally convinces him to give up gambling. She also is bad, always bossing around Mike, making me wonder why he simply didn’t just tell her to get lost.
All these things swamp the little humor from Malkovich and Turturro.
This movie reminds me of an old Kenny Rogers song, “The Gambler,” especially the line that says, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, you gotta know when to fold ‘em.”
This movie should have folded before the deal was complete.
Grade: D