Cheap Seats
No piercing inquiry forthcoming the NCAA is concerned about some, uh, loopholes, in its rules.
They involve body piercing.
Jewelry - rings, necklaces and earrings - has long been banned in most NCAA competitions because of the risk of injury.
But what of tongue studs, navel rings, eyebrow loops, toe rings and nipple rings?
The unofficial policy as reported in the NCAA News: Don’t ask, don’t tell.
“We’re not going to make a rule that says everyone has to stick their tongues out,” he said. “In fact, we have a rule now that says if you do that, you get a red card.”
Winnipeg or Havana? Tough choice
The Pan American Games have led to chilled relations between Winnipeg, Manitoba - one of the coldest cities in North America during winter - and balmy Cuba.
At the center of the contentiousness is the local tabloid, the Winnipeg Sun, accused by the Cuban delegation of promoting defections by printing a story about how local officials would handle the situation.
Even Fidel Castro joined in. Upset by prowling sports agents and as well as the Sun story, Castro found time in his 4-1/2-hour Revolution Day speech to mention “tricks” and “filth” at the Pan-Am Games, and said Cuban athletes are “competing in enemy territory.”
The Sun responded quickly.
“Top o’ the morning to you, Fidel Castro,” wrote columnist Pat Doyle. “Still ticked off about all those defections? Well, listen up, Cigar Breath: Life in Cuba must really suck if your people would rather live here than in Havana.
“I mean, this is where snow drifts come to die.”
More fun in the Sun
The tabloid also started a contest: Correctly predict the number of defections by the end of the Games and win a one-week trip to Cuba for two.
Responded Jose Fernandez, president of Cuba’s Olympic committee: “If this is a goodwill gesture, it is a perverse one.”
Like the horse had a choice
ESPN’s ranking of the top 50 athletes of the 20th century has prompted plenty of debate.
Pete Sampras, ranked 48th, was relieved to be ahead of O.J. Simpson but had a question for ESPN’s Dan Patrick about No. 35 Secretariat: “How could a horse be ahead of me?”
Patrick’s retort: “Why don’t you try carrying (Andre) Agassi on your back and play a match, and then you’ll get an idea what Secretariat did.”
How weak. If running in a circle with a small monkey on your back was a sport, Sampras might have been the best. And perhaps higher on ESPN’s list.
Sweet-talking the locals
Pittsburgh Penguins star Jaromir Jagr recently told the Czech newspaper, Blesk, that he “would never take an American woman. I would rather remain single until death.”
Jagr also said that returning to Pittsburgh after two months at home was “like going from heaven to hell.”
The last word …
“That was unbelievable. I thought somebody had found out something about my past.”
- South Carolina coach Lou Holtz after a horde of photographers clamored for position before he stepped to the mike at the Southeastern Conference’s media day.