Cheap Seats

Go to your room dot com

Greg Norman launched his own Internet site last week, being careful to note that www.shark.com is devoted to matters of lifestyle - fitness, travel, cars, fashion, etc. - And not simply to golf.

Maybe it should also cover family issues.

One “gate-crasher” as Norman spoke with reporters in unveiling the site was his son, who left quickly enough, just not quietly.

“Bye dad,” Greg Jr. said. “Nice Web site for a beginner.”

Easy Rider, my foot

The Portland Trail Blazers and Atlanta Hawks swapped players, and swapped images with the headliners in the four-player deal: troublesome Isaiah Rider to Atlanta and good-guy Steve Smith to Portland in what could mean a windfall for Oregon charities.

Not that anyone noticed the contrast in personalities or anything.

“It was no accident that one (Blazers) employee explained his attendance at the Rider news conference by simply saying, `I wouldn’t miss this. It’s the greatest day in the history of the franchise,”’ wrote Dwight Jaynes in the Oregonian.

“ … Rider was being showcased much of last season for exactly the purpose he served on Monday - to bring the team a better player.

“And in the end, after all the suspensions and unpredictability, that was the best thing he ever did for the Blazers.”

A hot plate for your cool car

There have already been plenty of volunteers, about 10,000 people having ordered the special Tennessee license plates that will honor the national football champions. And they aren’t even available.

The first batch is scheduled to arrive in early September, with “Tennessee” printed across the top, a Vols’ helmet beside the license number and Tennessee’s checkerboard end zone with “National Champions” in black letters across the bottom.

The plates cost an extra $25 and can be renewed for that amount each year.

Writing with broad strokes

Chicago Tribune columnist Bernie Lincicome, reflecting on last week’s confrontation between Chicago Cubs first baseman Mark Grace and beleaguered umpire Eric Gregg:

“Gregg is one of those umpires whose resignation has been accepted by Major League Baseball. He is considered widely - no pun intended - to be the worst umpire in the game. On Sept. 1, he is history, which still gives him about three more weeks of life than the Cubs.”

Pretend you don’t know this man

University of Florida football coach Steve Spurrier recently found his name doesn’t open doors everywhere.

Checking into a Birmingham, Ala., hotel for the Southeastern Conference football media day, Spurrier was told the hotel was sold out.

He told the clerk who he was. Still no room. At one point, the clerk even asked Spurrier to spell his name.

“Fortunately, the manager was there and he called and said they had a room,” Spurrier said.

The last word …

“I don’t believe the current baloney has any validity. The game is as healthy as anything.”

- Former baseball union chief Marvin Miller, giving his take on the game’s alleged competitive imbalance.