Give Her Gem State For $500, Alex
Idaho will take center stage this spring when Susan Wheeler appears on “Jeopardy.” Wheeler? She’s an ex-TV reporter who now flacks for U.S. Sen. Mike Crapo. She’ll tape her first of possibly several shows Feb. 16 or 17. She hopes the categories will be something like: “Seven Ways to Cook A Potato.” Or “Cary Grant Movies.” Susan doesn’t have time to learn new facts. So she’s brushing up on betting strategy. Win or lose, she’ll make us Potatoheads look good.
That buck is bull
The revered ancestors of the CdA Indian tribe must be spinning in their graves. After all, the first tribal casino billboard Spokane visitors see as they enter Idaho on I-90 reads: “Running with the big bucks.” But any decent hunter will tell you the animal pictured is a bull elk, not a buck deer … The tribe is playing a little fast with Valentine’s Day, too. Promoters have labeled Thursday’s boxing matches at the House of Pain: “Valentine’s Day Massacre.” Does that mean reservation Romeos have 10 less days to stay out of the doghouse by buying their Juliets a gift? … Venerable Ted Fox contends in The Rotary Wheel that Rotarians were “yearning to know” from urologist Charlie Gates about how to treat prostate cancer “by cutting, freezing or frying it.” This, over lunch … Dummy of the Week honors go to the dimbulb who stole a Pizza Hut delivery pickup Thursday night, one with the lighted sign on top. CPD Blue had little trouble finding a suspect.
Rumorama
Shawn Keough understands timber issues. She knows how to write grants and newsletters. And, oh yes, she’s a state senator. But none of those attributes could land her an interview for the Sandpoint Chamber of Commerce exec opening. This, after working 10 years for the ingrates. Amazing.
Disco dandy
Either my eyes are failing, which means I should see ophthalmologist Wayne Ellenbecker, or I’m already seeing him, on posters around CdA advertising the chamber’s “Awsum Auction Fever” March 6. Wayne’s the only professional I know who could don a white leisure suit, strike a John Travolta pose - and pull it off … Upon hearing former lawmaker Freeman Duncan had resigned from the local GOP central committee, one caustic partisan zinged: “He found out a prerequisite is actually being a Republican” … In the ‘60s, we grooved to the lines “Something’s happening here; what it is ain’t exactly clear.” Now, the Bonner County Bee police roundup offers SPD version: “Something happened somewhere in Sandpoint to generate a log entry, but no further information was reported.”
Huckleberries
On Friday, the Davis Donuts readerboard opined: “The only thing that will help downtown is 12 months of summer.” Ouch … The baked potato shortage is spreading! In early January, a customer peeled out for Arby’s on Fast Food Row after discovering Wendy’s was baked potatoless in Idaho. Now comes news that Arby’s ran out of the spuds during a rush hour last week. Stay tuned … Hazy Concept: One bumpersnicker on a white Ford Taurus on Northwest Boulevard Friday was right on, “I run over Beanies.” But the second was oblique: “Driving Drunk? Take off your seat belt.” Is it me? … Bathroom Humor: A Hayden resident spotted this faux pas in the Brand X legal ads Dec. 28: “Providing for the amount of the assessment chargeable to each part of the segregated area.” Only an F launched “part.” How old do you have to be before typos like that no longer are funny? … Young Tom Richards (whose Daddy Warbucks saws logs on Seltice Way) is now seeking a teaching credential.
Parting shot
Interactive Editor Ken Sands and I had Canfield middle-schoolers eating out of our hands with all the gifts we brought Jan. 22: newspapers, note pads, pencils and pens. But Beverly’s chef Curtis Smith trumped us with Rice Krispies treats and chocolatechip cookies. The career day circuit keeps getting tougher.