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That’s no car, it’s a Husky
An NFL coach who didn’t want to be identified on the speed of Oakland Raiders running back Napoleon Kaufman, the former University of Washington star:
“He has a rocket strapped to his fanny. He can go from zero to 60 as fast as a race car.”
Dodgers went fast, but only downhill
It was a late September game when the Los Angeles Dodgers, suffering through a miserable season, fell behind 8-0 to the San Francisco Giants. Their Hall of Fame broadcaster, Vin Scully, had the perfect caption to not just the game, but to all that happened to the team in 1998: “May I ask you a personal question?”
Pause.
“Are any of you keeping score of this one?”
Longer pause.
“Good.”
San Francisco infielder Jeff Kent followed with a grand slam home run.
We bet you can’t wait
Mermaids at the Olympics? Well, not quite mermaids, but swimmers with fins that make them look like mermaids.
The obscure sport of fin swimming is being proposed to become part of the 2004 Athens Olympics, organizers said. The final decision on the longshot application will be made by the International Olympic Committee.
Fin swimmers stick both feet in a single rubber-and-fiberglass “mono fin” up to 32 inches wide. They clasp their hands together in front and propel themselves through the water with undulating thrusts of the fin.
Sorry, no flip remarks.
Winning isn’t everything
The firing of Washington football coach Jim Lambright on Wednesday had a similarity to the firing of USC’s Larry Smith in 1992.
Lambright had an overall record of 44-25-1 for six seasons. Smith was 44-25-3 for six seasons while taking the Trojans to three Rose Bowl games.
Decent records, but nothing to compare with Elmer “Gloomy Gus” Henderson, who was USC’s coach from 1919 to 1924 (yep, six seasons).
Henderson had a record of 45-7, .865, best percentage of any coach in USC history. He was fired, too.
It’s time for an etiquette class
Indianapolis Colts coach Jim Mora on Carolina Panthers running back Fred Lane being suspended for grabbing his crotch in a gesture to New York Jets fans:
“What do you do, have a team meeting and tell guys not to grab their crotch when they make a touchdown?”
The last word …
“You probably have a lot of marriages on the rocks right now because guys are not used to being home seven days a week.”
- Jayson Williams of the New Jersey Nets, commenting on the NBA lockout