Christmas Brought Grief

Sat., Jan. 16, 1999

Carolyn Costigan Special To Opin

It was to be the best Christmas ever! My daughter, son-in-law and three grandchildren were home from Saudi Arabia. This was the first time in three years we would all be together. The presents were wrapped and waiting. We would spend Christmas Eve with my husband’s father and mother - Grandma and Grandpa to four grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

Grandma and Grandpa had finished last minute shopping on Tuesday and we were ready for the family celebrations. But as Monsignor James Ribble later said, “Hugh had an appointment he had to keep.”

We got the call at 7 a.m. Wednesday. Grandpa’s arm was numb and he was in terrible pain. He needed to go to the hospital. Once there, tests were run, labs drawn and IVs started. By 4:20 the doctor simply stated “Well, we’ve lost him.”

These thoughts swam through my head as they cared for him at the hospital: I’m a nurse. This hospital is where I work, where we cure people; I don’t understand. But Grandpa “had an appointment he had to keep.”

Grandpa was 88 years old and really active. He had a wonderful life. He was the “chauffeur” of all the little widows who were Grandma’s friends. He drove them to church, bridge, guild, altar society. He delivered meals on wheels and baskets to the needy. He was full of life.

I told my husband, “You have big shoes to fill.” He replied, “Too big for me.”

We went through the motions of the holiday. Arrangements were made. Family and friends gathered to say good-bye.

Today we’re still in pain but healing. I want to be a better person, to love more, to tell people I care.

I felt like we were the only ones with a holiday filled with grief. Then I read the obituaries. The newspaper page seemed filled with deaths, so many deaths right around the holidays? I wonder why this is so.

Then I realized that many people were sharing the grief along with the spirit of Christmas. My own mortality faces me as I realize we all have that appointment with God. He is the one who decides when it’s time to go home. While we’re waiting, we all need to do and say the things we’ve put off.

I’m weary of grief. I want to move on. In time, we’ll all feel better but this Christmas took a direction we’ll not soon forget.

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are tax deductible.

Meet Our Journalists

Jesse Tinsley

Meet Jesse Tinsley. As a certified drone pilot, this veteran Spokesman-Review photographer often can be seen capturing beautiful aerial photographs of our region. Sometimes though, the job requires getting down with the dogs.
Jim Meehan

Jim Meehan is no stranger to Zag Nation. As the lead writer covering the Gonzaga men’s basketball team, he tells the stories behind the game and gets fans a bit closer to their favorite players.
Molly Quinn

There is no artist in Spokane like Molly Quinn. Her whimsical style is instantly recognizable to readers of The Spokesman-Review. She has painted gorgeous illustrations that instantly elevate the journalism accompanying it. She brings to life the stories that defy photography. She makes our pages better.
Rob Curley

Spokesman-Review editor Rob Curley loves to talk with people and learn about their lives, whether it's a best-selling author or a stranger he meets downtown on his walk to lunch. It's that inquisitive nature combined with a playful sense of storytelling that helps make our newspaper different than most.