Options There To Ease Stress

Wed., March 31, 1999

Xyan Neider Special To Opinion

With charges officially filed against Robert Wood for allegedly murdering his own son, I feel an obligation to write down my thoughts. A child is a blessing from God. I have two beautiful children of my own, an 8-year-old son and a 4-month-old daughter. I was a single parent for seven years, have been homeless, was on Aid to Families with Dependent Children and attended college full time. I couldn’t afford diapers, clothes, school pictures or food. I had my power shut off, and I was so desperate I didn’t know what to do.

But never once did I think that killing my child was the only way out of my financial distress. No matter how completely terrified I felt that I couldn’t provide for my child, never did I feel that without him my life would be easier.

I have been so angry with my son that I’ve had to take a timeout so that I did not strike him. But never did I think that harming my child would relieve my anger or teach him a lesson.

Now with my second child I watch and remember how the parent-child bond forms. In the adult world we have to earn one another’s respect and trust. Our children give these to us freely. Our children also give us the purest form of unconditional love. It always amazes me when I look into my kids’ eyes to see such honest love, trust, and respect for me. That is why I am so grossly appalled by parental abuse, neglect and murder.

In America there are many options available to parents. To the young women who would dump their newborn babies in Dumpsters - numerous couples would love to adopt a child. To parents in financial straits - why not sell material belongings, seek help from family or friends, seek help from local agencies, get another job, or just don’t acquire so much debt that it swallows you up.

As a member of society I feel sickened that little Chris Wood was murdered. A huge part of me hopes that it wasn’t his father. I pray for our world and for our children that adults will find better ways of dealing with the stresses of life than to take it out on their kids. And I pray that we, as a society, will do all that we possibly can - sparing no expense - to insure the best for our kids because some day they will be taking care of us.

Goodbye Chris Wood. More people than you knew mourn your passing and hope you are in a better place.

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