Campaign ‘99

With candidates either basking in their victories or recovering from their losses, forums on hiatus and no important calendar dates on the horizon, Campaign ‘99 is almost ready to fade away.

Almost. First we have to follow tradition and make presentations for the best and worst of the campaign season. Here they are:

The Tailgunner Joe Medal, with oak-leaf clusters

The medal goes to Republicans Mark Schoesler and Larry Sheahan, for a bit of neo-McCarthyism in the 9th District House race. The two veteran legislators, who should be above such silliness, suggested that electing a Democrat would be a step toward Bolshevism because the new speaker of the House would come from a West Side district that has a statue of Lenin. They conveniently ignored the fact that the statue in Fremont has nothing to do with Rep. Frank Chopp and was erected for a reason that must make the old Commie dictator spin in his grave: It’s for sale.

The Crimson Angler Citation

For throwing out the biggest red herring, this award goes to the supporters of Initiative 695, for their caustic criticism of ads mailed out by the other side. The ads show a pair of smiling cops as a way of suggesting law enforcement services will be cut if voters approve the ballot measure. Close inspection reveals these are cops from Massachusetts - proof, said I-695 honchos like Spokane chairman Jack Fagan, that opponents would stoop to all sorts of trickery and that rank-and-file cops didn’t oppose the measure. The real reason for showing out-ofstate cops is simpler: It’s against state law for our uniformed police officers to appear in campaign literature.

The Figures Don’t Lie, But … Award

For the worst statistic regularly repeated, this award goes to opponents of I-695. Speakers and ads routinely proclaimed that passing the measure would force the layoff of 1,000 police officers, as if the number were cast in stone. The ballot measure does cut the money going to state and local governments, and some of the money is dedicated for cops. But the city and county governments will decide what to cut, and there’s no way to say definitively how many, if any, cops are on the chopping block.

A Jubilation T. Cornpone Ribbon

Named for the character in the musical “Li’l Abner” who was given to terrible strategies and resounding defeats, this award goes to Gov. Gary Locke. With the race over I-695 tightening, the governor tried to attract undecided voters with a promise to adjust the motor vehicle excise tax next year. But Locke’s plan was so vague that many voters deemed it too little, too late, and some read as a sign that politicians will promise them anything before an election.

A Yada-Yada-Yada Award

For the worst phrase uttered repeatedly on the campaign trail, this award goes to Al French’s description of his local service record. In campaign speeches, French said he’d been “in the trenches” so much that one wondered if his campaign strategy was drafted by the British general staff from World War I.

A Too Cute for Words Certificate

This honor is bestowed upon the supporters of the Spokane city park bond issue that passed in the September primary. With everyone inundated by Y2K this and Y2K that, they came up with the slogan Y3P. If anyone bothered to read the fine print, it stood for Yes on Parks, Pools and Playgrounds. Discerning that was difficult when driving past a yard sign at speeds greater than 5 mph.

Campaign Poet Laureate

City Council Candidate Louise Stamper is so honored. Although she ran her campaign on a shoestring and didn’t make it past the primary, Stamper was often the class act of early candidate forums. While her rivals talked about mistakes the council has made or opportunities lost, she would quote from memory such literary giants as George Bernard Shaw, and encourage people to think better of their democratic duties.

The Cold Fusion Award

For the most questionable scholarship of the campaign season, this award goes to radio talk show host Rick Miller, who was shocked to discover a few days before the election that even if I-695 passed, it could be overridden by a two-thirds vote in the Legislature. In high dudgeon, Miller accused the campaigns and the news media of hiding this detail. In fact, news stories had noted this was possible but unlikely, and there was nothing particularly shocking about it - it’s in the state constitution.