Don’T Trust All Co-Workers
Q: I went to work feeling sad. A female co-worker asked me three times what’s wrong, and each time I said “Nothing.” When she asked me a fourth time, I said, “Can I ask you a question?” She said yes, so I told her that I had been with my wife for 23 years and she won’t bathe with me. I asked her what advice she might have on how to change my wife’s mind. My co-worker acted like she thought it was funny, but the next day my boss called me into his office to tell me she’d complained about my discussing my private life with her. My boss suspended me for three days and I was told to apologize to her.
A: I know it’s hard to understand being punished for honesty, especially when your honesty was solicited in the first place, making her complaint seem like a betrayal. But when you’re asked a broad question like, “What’s wrong?” you still must exercise judgment in the details you reveal. Your mood obviously concerned your co-worker, but rather than opening up with the whole truth, you should have answered with something like, “I appreciate your concern, but it’s a personal matter that I can’t discuss.”
Your company may also be at fault if it has not provided its employees with instruction on the various kinds of sexual harassment in the workplace. I hope your company’s management explained to you why they take these matters seriously rather than simply punishing you for behavior you thought was innocent.
Another lesson here is that no matter how comfortable you feel about your relationship with a co-worker, you shouldn’t assume the other party feels the same way.
Can a company just fire you without saying why?
Q: Here’s how I was recently fired from my job. I was asked to follow my boss into an office where a lawyer was sitting. I was advised of my termination and asked to sign a form. The incident came as a surprise to me because there was no formal counseling about any performance problems. All my supervisor’s directives were oral. I am confused about this and would like to know whether this is a wrongful termination.
A: While many large companies follow a formal discipline policy that consists of several interim steps before termination, a company can let you go for any reason as long as it’s not discriminatory in nature. You may have no recourse here.
Because you were totally unaware of any problems, you might want to talk to your former boss about the lack of communication. Explain that you would like to understand what happened so a situation like that won’t happen again.
Are all college degrees equal?
Q: I have a bachelor of applied science degree. On employers’ Web sites that allow you to apply online, you can generally select your appropriate degree from a pull-down menu. But they don’t include my type of degree, just a bachelor of science. Will employers look at my degree as an illegitimate form of education?
A: The time to investigate a career field, a school and a particular degree is before you apply to the college. Once you obtain the degree, there’s no sense in belittling your accomplishment. There are differences in degrees, and in the quality of the many colleges and universities.
Now that you’ve graduated, you need to find the similarities between those two degrees so you can emphasize the positive attributes to your college experience. You might try e-mailing your resume to companies rather than filling out standard forms. When applying through a company’s online forms, check a degree that is similar and explain the difference when you interview.