Cheap Seats
Playing The Crying Game
After the Rams beat the 49ers on Sunday to end the Los Angeles/St. Louis losing streak to San Francisco at 17 games, St. Louis Post-Dispatch sports columnist Bernie Miklasz wrote:
“Georgia cried. Dick cried. A few players wept, too … Do you want to cry, too? Go ahead. Put the oldie `96 Tears’ on the jukebox and do the DV (Dick Vermeil) sniffle. All of you. The great fans in the most underrated football town in America. Fans who have been asked to support and watch more bad football than any citizenry in the NFL. Congratulations, St. Louis. You have a football team.”
Los Angeles sportswriter T.J. Simers was moved.
“Three thoughts come to mind: “1. Talk about tears - ever read something and laugh so hard you are moved to cry?
“2. Guess he never sat through a game in Anaheim Stadium, waiting a week and then going to the Coliseum.
“3. How would he have written the end of World War II?”
In case you forgot
Simers had a special note for Chicago Bears quarterback Cade McNown, who was caught using handicapped-parking permits during his playing days at UCLA:
“Now that Chicago quarterback Shane Matthews has pulled a hamstring and is using crutches, making him eligible for a handicapped-parking placard, just a reminder to all concerned: It’s nontransferable.”
Charles vs. Scottie: No brainer
Talk radio smack runner Jim Rome on the Charles Barkley-Scottie Pippen feud:
“Who should you side with? Well, Scottie has six rings, Charles has none. Charles is fat, Scottie isn’t. And Charles is selfish and Scottie is a little less selfish. Scottie by TKO.
“Charles ran Clyde Drexler off and now he’s run Scottie off as well. By the time Charles gets through with him, rookie Stevie Francis will be begging to go back to Vancouver.”
Cruel and unusual punishment
Bob Kravitz in the Rocky Mountain News:
“All the money (Bill Romanowski) has been fined the past three weeks, it would feed Turkish refugees for another two months.
“I say we put Romo and Bryan Cox in a room and, you know, leave them there for the rest of their natural lives. They deserve one another.”
The last word …
“It’s like having your daughter come home at 3 (a.m.) with a Gideon bible in her hand. You don’t know whether she went to bible study or a hotel room. That’s the way spring ball is; you just don’t know.”
- Colorado coach Gary Barnett on the high hopes people had for his Buffs.