Consistent Effort Can Rebuild Trust

Mon., Oct. 18, 1999

Q. I have done things to betray my parents’ trust. How do I get it back?

A. What is it like for you when someone has let you down? What does it take for you to believe in them again? What do you think is important in a trusting relationship? These are questions you’ll want to think about as you begin to work on rebuilding trust with your parents. When one breaks a trust, the other person may feel hurt and betrayed (often expressed as anger). An apology and a promise to change are not enough; consistent behavior matching your words over time can help rebuild trust. It also might help to ask your parents what specifically they need to see and hear from you in order for them to trust you. This way there will be no misunderstanding.- Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. adolescent & adult counseling

A. Breaking trust is much easier than building it. To prove to your parents that you are trustworthy, you need to act like a mature and responsible adult. You can’t earn trust overnight. - Bethany Robinson, Northwood Middle

Q. I always feel ugly. How can I feel better about myself and boost my image?

A. What contributes to your poor self-image? Were you teased or criticized about your body while growing up? Do you compare your appearance to other people? Do the media influence your definition of beauty? Have there been hurtful events in your life that affect the way you view yourself? Often uncomfortable emotions lead to a dislike of your body. Identifying the source of your feelings is the first step toward changing your body image. When negative thoughts come up, focus on what you do like about your body. Find things about yourself that you value besides your body image and praise yourself for things you accomplish. Don’t read magazines or watch shows that make you feel ugly. When hanging around people who focus on diet and appearance, try to change the topic. - Stacey Mainer

A. You should never think that you’re ugly. Do things for yourself like paint your nails, take a bubble bath or work out. I always feel better after I work out. Take care of yourself, and your self-esteem will improve. Know that you are a beautiful person and keep you head up. - Erica Dalpez, East Valley

What’s your advice?

Q: My boyfriend and I are getting serious. How do I talk to my parents about birth control without freaking them out?

Q. How do I deal with people who disagree strongly with my religion?

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