M’S Could Still Pull A Thrill Despite Record, They Still Have A Crack At Another September To Remember

The time has come for the Seattle Mariners to convert their tenuous wild-card status into a legitimate stretch run for the playoffs.

Don’t bother glancing at the standings, guys, and don’t concern yourself with the scoreboard.

So just win, and win some more, and then …

“Whoa, hoss. Stop right there.”

Who’s that?

“You know darn well who this is. I am the voice of logic inside that confetti-wrapped party hat you call a brain. I am the voice who is responsible for preventing your fingers from typing dumb and dumber platitudes full of hot-air optimism.”

Well, leave me alone. I was about to make a point for our many Mariners fans in the audience.

“Right. And I was enjoying a nap. Have you any idea what it’s like to be jolted out of a perfectly serene sleep by the words `Mariners’ and `playoff drive’? It’s like crashing in front of the TV and waking up to the sound of a studio audience hooting some tank-topped loser on the Sally Jessy Raphael show.”

For a voice of logic, you’ve sure got a short fuse.

“Actually, my fuse is fine, thank you. My fuse is just a bit frayed from watching a listless baseball team that hasn’t won a truly meaningful regular-season game in four years.”

Check your facts, sleepy-head. In 1996, Seattle went on a 10-game tear in the middle of September, cutting the Rangers’ supposedly insurmountable lead from nine games to one. In 1997, the Mariners won the division.

And after running in place for five months, they’re still not out of this year’s wild-card derby, which is the point I was trying to make when you came in.

“Hey, I’m only doing my job. I’m your voice of logic. I don’t want you to look like any more of a fool than you usually do.”

Is it foolish to think a starting rotation that quietly has become as consistent as any in baseball could produce a September to Remember?

Granted, the hill is high. But look at the schedule.

The Mariners play one first-place team down the stretch, Texas. And by then, the Rangers will be in their cool-down mode, resting their regulars as they regroup for the playoffs.

“Eee-nuff. You know, deep in your heart, that Boston is a better ballclub than Seattle. Period.”

I also know that Boston plays in Boston, where self-pitying fans and poetically inclined sportswriters are so fascinated by the franchise’s legacy of frustration that every unwanted run, hit and error is portrayed as another Curse of the Bambino.

I know, too, that the Red Sox just traded for Rod Beck - he of the 9.36 ERA with the Cubs - to be their closer. The Red Sox inviting Beck to finish crucial games in Fenway Park is like Bible Belt High School hiring Charlie Sheen as its guidance counselor.

“You are forgetting that it’s not just the Red Sox and Mariners in the wild-card race, but the Athletics and Blue Jays, too. And they’re both ahead of Seattle.”

For now. Seattle closes out the season with three in Oakland.

The A’s have been spectacular at home, but against a young team finding itself in a win-or-go-golf-for-the-winter series in October, I like the Mariners’ chances.

“See? You’re doing it again.”

Doing what again?

“You’re assuming the Mariners are built for the distance, when the standings insist this is a classically mediocre club that ought to consider itself fortunate to finish over .500.”

Right now, yes; the Mariners are a middle-of-the-pack club. But September has a way of separating the pack of haves from the pack of have-nots. Those that are clinging to postseason aspirations play more crisply during the last month; those that don’t can be as inviting as a punching bag in a hot gym. That’s why most of baseball’s longest streaks - winning and losing - have been in September.

Back to the schedule: The Mariners entered the weekend facing three at Baltimore, and while they dropped the first two, they move on for three more at Tampa Bay.

Then the fun really starts back at Safeco Field, with three games apiece against Minnesota, Kansas City and Anaheim. In other words, between Sept. 10 and Sept. 26, the Mariners will have 15 straight dates against teams that are on pace to lose 90 games apiece.

“Hoo boy. When do World Series tickets go on sale?”

OK, the Mariners aren’t a World Series team. Then again, neither were the 1987 Minnesota Twins. Their regular-season record was a modest 85-77. Their starting rotation after Frank Viola and Bert Blyleven - talk about modest - was made up of Les Straker and Mike Smithson.

“Les Who and Mike What?”

That’s exactly what everybody else said. And yet they won the right to call themselves champions of the world.

“Yeah, but in those days, a club had to survive only a single best-of-seven series to win the pennant. If the Mariners even reach the postseason, either the Yankees or the Indians will be waiting for them, and it’ll be three-and-out faster than Ryan Leaf’s next possession with the Chargers.

If the Mariners qualify for the playoffs, there’s a chance they might not even show up. They’ll be too exhausted from the party.

“You and your parties. You’ve got a one-track mind.”

Actually, I’ve got a mind for one track, and it has plenty of room on the outside for a month-long stretch drive. If the Mariners finally want to make it a race, today’s game would be a good place to start.