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Michael Jordan tees off

Even Michael Jordan couldn’t come back from this big of a deficit.

The former Chicago Bulls superstar shot a 10-over-par 81 Thursday in the second round of the Chicago Open, and missed the cut at the 54-hole event by 15 shots.

After the round began, it didn’t take long for Jordan’s trademark smile to fade. He started his second round on No. 10 and recorded pars on his first four holes. But he hooked his drive into trees on the par4 14th, and eventually two-putted for a bogey.

Jordan made par on the 15th, but sliced his drive into the woods on the par-4 16th hole, drawing a chuckle from one fan.

“Oh, was that funny?” Jordan said jokingly to the chuckler.

He hit a tree with his second shot, punched his third into a bunker, blasted out and two-putted for double bogey.

Big rotten apple

Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe, after the New England Patriots defeated the New York Jets on the road and the Boston Red Sox completed a three-game sweep against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium: “It simply doesn’t get any better. If you are a New Englander working in a brokerage house or law firm, or studying in a college dorm, you are sick of obnoxious New Yorkers rubbing it in your face. Besides, they forever ruined clam chowder, polluting it with tomatoes.”

Nowhere place

Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, on Tampa Bay’s search for a sports identity: “Our history is one of awful owners and half-empty stands and dreadful drafts and last-place finishes and athletes who endured here on their way to someplace else. Except for Lee Roy Selmon, the rest of the country couldn’t pick us out of a lineup.”

Getting even

Time out took on a new meaning for Pittsburgh Steelers fan Eric Nutter.

Eric, 10, wore a Steelers jersey to Western Reserve Middle School on Cleveland Browns spirit day and found himself banished to a classroom corner by his teacher, who claimed to be having a little fun with Eric’s light-hearted prank.

And that was before the Steelers humiliated the Browns, 43-0.

His punishment didn’t last all day though. After about 2 hours, Eric took off his jersey with Kordell Stewart’s number on it to wear a Cleveland Indians T-shirt for P.E. He kept the baseball team shirt on for the rest of the day, and was allowed to place his desk back in its usual position.

So what happened this week? Officials at the school in Norwalk, Ohio, 50 miles from Cleveland, apologized to Eric.

Apology accepted, but Eric skipped school anyway on Wednesday for a television interview in Cleveland.

Keeping it simple

ESPN’s Joe Theismann, during the Browns’ 43-0 loss to Pittsburgh on Sunday night: “You gotta score to put points on the board.”

The last word …

“Hey, I showered,”

-New York Jets coach Bill Parcells, on wearing the same sweatshirt, shorts, socks and sneakers three consecutive days.