Extra Effort Keeps Friends In Touch

Mon., Sept. 27, 1999

Q. My best friend is moving to another school. He got in some trouble with his attendance and got expelled. I’m afraid we’ll lose touch. I also feel like I’m going to be all alone. Should I transfer, too?

A. You shouldn’t put yourself through the whole transfer process just because your friend is going to another school. I went through the same thing with one of my best friends and we still stay in touch. We just have to put in a little extra effort. Look at the situation as an opportunity to meet new people. - Brittani Kelly, Ferris

A. It’s really hard to lose a best friend. Feelings of loneliness are much stronger when this happens and the tendency is to try to quickly get rid of those feelings. If feeling all alone is not new to you, following your friend will only make that feeling go away temporarily. You might want to look at bigger questions such as `How do I make friends? What can I do to not feel so alone?’ Until you face these questions, feelings of loneliness will keep coming back in your life. - Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. Adolescent & Adult counseling therapist

Q. I’m 17 and I like this guy. I think he likes me, but I’m not sure. Sometimes we act like we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but the next day we both act like there’s nothing between us. Then next day we start sweet things again. Does this mean he likes me? Is this love, or just strange feelings?

A. Most likely it means your guy friend is afraid of commitment. Once he gets close , he gets scared of what could happen, so he backs off. But then the next day he wants to get back again. I would talk to him about it and then decide after that. - Kev Vorhees, St. George’s

A. This does sound confusing for you. I wonder if the first thing you have to do is to decide for yourself what you want from this relationship. After you know what you want, your choices are to be open and honest with him or to keep it the way it is, always wondering what he is thinking and feeling. - Stacey Mainer

What’s your advice?

Q. If someone hangs out with people who get in trouble, will they become influenced?

Q. My mom and I get along OK on the outside. On the inside, however, I get so frustrated and angry that I cry. In fact, the main reason why I don’t want to have kids is because I couldn’t imagine having anyone hate me as much as I hate her. She doesn’t hit me or even yell. What’s wrong with me?

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