Book ‘Em, Cougars

Washington State University’s football team may have finished last in the Pacific-10 Conference for two straight seasons, but in the crucial fight for thickest media guide, the Cougars are holding their own.

The 2000 edition of the glossy book is 224 pages, almost twice as thick as the 1999 guide, and the biggest the school has ever produced, sports information director Rod Commons said.

It’s more colorful, with more pictures, bigger type and snazzier graphics, the better to grace the coffee tables of recruits. The price is $20. Commons said it cost $14 to produce.

“Next year, the USC guide will be 400 pages,” Commons said, compared to this year’s mere 370 pages. “We’re not gaining on anybody, but we’re holding our own.”

This being the Cougars, it’s always a struggle to keep up with the richer programs, particularly the hated Washington Huskies. The UW media guide is 340 pages this year.

Can this guide play quarterback?

Dan Marino may be retired, but he is not forgotten. In their 2000 media guide, the Miami Dolphins have a Marino photo montage inside the front cover and devote 49 pages to his NFL legacy.

Miami will retire Marino’s No. 13 at halftime of their game against Baltimore on Sept. 17.

Buchanan boosters, take note

Yugoslav soccer officials have warned fans they would be beaten by police if they yell political slogans at games.

The move comes six weeks before Yugoslavia’s presidential elections and on the heels of a pro soccer game in Belgrade where baton-wielding riot police waded into the stands and beat chanting spectators.

“At any cost, we must keep soccer free from politics,” a Yugoslav soccer federation security official, Kosta Vukovic, told Belgrade’s independent Blic newspaper. “Soccer must remain a game and all political manifestations belong outside the stadium. Otherwise, we shall simply clear all the seats.”

Or whap you with a WSU media guide.

He’s no longer in the book

Think Regan Upshaw was happy to leave the Jacksonville Jaguars for the Oakland Raiders?

Upshaw, a defensive end who has also played for Tampa Bay, was overjoyed - at least at the prospect of no longer being under the thumb of Jacksonville Coach Tom Coughlin.

“It was like boot camp; every player has to be under his control,” Upshaw told the San Jose Mercury News. “It just wasn’t my style of coaching. That’s just not the type of person that I am, and I don’t thrive in that type of environment.”

Has Regan met Al Davis yet?

The last word …

“That 1996 team overachieved. This one has overspent.”

- Newsday’s Jon Heyman, comparing the 1996 New York Yankees, who won the World Series, and this year’s team, which has been playing .500 ball for almost two weeks.