Ways To Be A Nerd

Mon., Aug. 21, 2000

Jennifer Kassner, Shadle

10. Use suspenders to hike up your pants.

9. Wear your dad’s favorite plaid socks.

8. Do your best impression of Urkel’s laugh.

7. Use your pocket protector to hold your spit-wad collection.

6. Ask every kid in your class this question: Is your refrigerator running, ‘cuz you better go catch it?

5. Hide under a table when a hot guy walks by.

4. Wear underwear over your pants and pretend to be Superman.

3. Cry when you miss the afternoon episode of “Barney.”

2. Tell everyone you’re an alien trying to find an intelligent species.

And the No. 1 way to be a nerd is to ask the school bully for a wedgie.

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