Batting .390 A Real Pain
A Philadelphia doctor was meeting with George Brett and Kansas City trainer Mickey Cobb just before the 1980 World Series between the Royals and Phillies.
Tests had shown Brett had hemorrhoids.
“I said, `How do you get these things?”’ Brett recounted to Jack Etkin of Denver’s Rocky Mountain News.
“He said, `There’s a lot of different ways you can get it. Have you been under any stress this year?’ Me and Mickey kind of looked at each other and started giggling.”
That was the season that Brett made his closely scrutinized run at .400, finally hitting .390.
“Then he asked about my diet, and I said, `Well, I’m 27 years old and single. What’s that tell you? I like Mexican food. I like margaritas and I like beer and cheeseburgers.”’
Brett established the formula: Stress, plus diet plus a .390 batting average equal being paid to endorse Preparation H. Todd Helton is probably doing a lot of standing these days.
What’s in a name?
Northwestern defensive end Conrad Emmerich’s nickname is Tic, short for Lunatic. It has to do with his intensity on the field. The sports information department had each Wildcat complete the sentence, “Nobody knows that I …” Emmerich filled in, “ … am an active WWF wrestler and soon-to-be governor of Minnesota.”
Nearly fatal attraction
The swarms of insects that invaded Detroit’s Comerica Park last Wednesday night in the game between the Tigers and Mariners were a mystery.
“They left us as quickly as they came in,” said Tyler Barnes, the Tigers’ senior director of marketing and communications. “And they left no calling card.”
No one, as yet, has been able to offer a plausible explanation for the insects’ appearance or disappearance.
“What blew me away,” said Barnes, “was that I was asked by two TV stations, on camera, what we planned to do to prevent this in the future.”
Just stop baiting the insects by allowing TV reporters to the games.
Bringing your work home
Detroit Tigers general manager Randy Smith was unable to get back from Las Vegas in time to be present for the birth of his second child, so he and his wife waited a day to name it.
“That’s perfect for a GM,” assistant GM Steve Lubratich told Peter Schmuck of the Baltimore Sun. “A baby to be named later.”
The last word …
“Do we really have time for all those?”
- Jose Canseco’s response when a reporter asked what he considered his biggest mistakes as a young superstar.