Yes, Let’S All Chip In For This Bunch

Downtown shop owners were surprised when a Panhandle Health District rep came calling for small gift donations Nov. 22. Seems she wanted to sweeten the pot for the health district’s annual Christmas party. She told a Berry Picker that some workers were miffed because they had to pay for their dinner and that of their significant other at the annual party. They felt they shouldn’t pay because (drum roll, please) they don’t earn all that much. Earth to health district - a lot of struggling people out there would gladly trade places.

Down but not out

During a meeting with a state building inspector, Bonner County Commissioner Brian Orr tried to lighten things up. But he was bushwhacked by the Bitter Bonner Bunch posse. Sez Brian, tongue firmly cheeked: In Idaho, all you need to be a contractor is a tool box and dog in the back of a pickup. Retorted a BBB sourpuss who shadows the commission: “I find that very offensive.” That was followed by an expletive that should have been deleted. And the battle for the courthouse continues.

Minority attorney

Norm Gissel, one of the CdA lawyers who helped shut down the Aryan Nations compound, doesn’t mind being called a “Jew” - as his racist detractors constantly do. But he sez his Baptist mother and Palestinian wife might be surprised … Oopsy: That headless elk spotted along U.S. 95 (Huckleberries, Nov. 27) was hit by a truck, not poached, according to F&G’s Phil Cooper. So how did it lose its head and antlers? A caller named Dave shed some light. He sez some folks, like his wife, keep a saw handy when driving - in case they spot roadkill. Then, they help themselves to the antlers and whatever else seems valuable. Different strokes for different folks.

Dramamine, anyone?

In November, Chairman Tom Scott spoke to the Lake Pend Oreille School Board by speaker phone while he was out of town - on a phone resembling a stealth bomber. Occasionally, biz manager Steve Battenschlag moved the phone closer to a patron who was making comments. Scott brought the house down when his disembodied voice said: “Oh, I’m getting motion sickness.” You had to be there … “Does that mean when I’m late paying my bill, I get my heat, electricity and phone shut off?” - Councilmaniac Chris Copstead asked at an Avista Communications open house. Next week, the Avista subsidiary will start providing CdA phone service for business clients only.

More Florida jokes

In trying to settle a dispute over building codes for the Burlington Northern and Santa Fe refueling depot, Commissioner Dick Panabaker said: “Is there any chad involved here?” Added Commissioner Dick Compton: “Do we have to hold it up to the light?” … A headline that erroneously said the city was thinking about paving Tubbs Hill still haunts the Parks Department - so much that Director Doug Eastwood has sought the humor in the situation. Hence, he set out a legal pad asking irate residents to volunteer for the “paving crew.”

Huckleberries

Predictably, Dr. Laura Schlessinger came down on the side of the parents in that R-rated video flap at the Post Falls Library. At least, that’s what listener Phil Backer of Hayden Lake heard when he tuned in last week … Again, I know how district principals feel when Trustee Herb Cheeley comes calling on their birthday - with a poppy seed cake in hand. He graciously provides this Huckleberry Hound with the same perk each Nov. 20, which, my friends, is above and beyond the call of duty … Betcha Tri-State Outfitters was surprised to see that insert it circulated in regional snoozepapers advertise “34-Qt” thermos bottles for $9.49. That’s some thermos … Huckleberries is happy to report that ISP trooper Leslie Lehman is A-OK after flipping her car Nov. 23 en route to a crash … Razzberries to the Grinch who tried to steal Glen Abbott’s reindeer display - and destroyed two of the figures when he reached the end of the connecting chain.

Parting shot

What’s this? Reporter Mike Gearlds of the Bonner Daily Bee is reporting on a proposed Lake Pend Oreille School District policy change - and sitting on a committee that’s studying it? Superintendent Roy Rummler has criticized Gearlds’ coverage. And been criticized in turn by a Geralds’ ally for the “scathing” critique. Confused? You wouldn’t be if Gearlds knew the difference between reporting the news and making it.