What’S In A Name Change?

Thu., Dec. 14, 2000

D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Revi

‘Tis the season to be PC. In Coeur d’Alene, school oh-ficials are trying to change the image of substitute teachers by redubbing them “guest teachers.” The Powers That Be think the new title will cause students to R-E-S-P-E-C-T subs more. Yeah, and the moon really has a cheese filling. Sure, a sub has a tough, thankless job. But c’mon, most kids know a substitute, er, guest teacher means a day of goofing off. Or a test reprieve. Rather than fool around with a loopy title, school officials should do something that would really put a bounce in a sub’s step: increase his or her pay.

Grinch establishes Oregon outpost

This week’s Grinch Who Stole Christmas Award goes to City Manager Jim Johnson of Eugene, Ore. In the name of cultural diversity, Eugene’s Scrooge banned Christmas trees in city lobbies, reception areas and public meeting places. Altogether now, let’s serenade Johnson: Siiiilent Niiiight … Hot Potatoes’ definition of a “cat fight”: A Spokane Valley brawl involving two mothers defending their daughters against another mother’s daughter, with fists - and a stun gun. Yeow … Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Anti-Gun Nut, quit second-guessing Nick Burger. The shotgun-wielding Spokane Valley teen deserves a medal for scaring off a burglar … French Fries (or, “Post-election Stress Syndrome” Relief): 1, Quit watching “Hardball”; 2, Ditto for Dan, Tom and Peter; 3, Use the Internet for ball scores only; 4, Get reacquainted with wife, kids; and 5, Cancel Disney World vacation plans.

U-Dub doesn’t fight jock image very hard

So, how does U-Dub football coach Rich Neuheisel fight the dumb-jock stereotype? He (yuk, yuk) tells his players not to flirt with the “wrong girl.” And he invites only coeds to the front of a sociology class to demonstrate blocking techniques. Dumb jock see, dumb jock do … Wanna put Alex Rodriguez’s new contract with the Texas Rangers ($252 million over 10 years) into perspective? He’ll be paid more yearly than all Idaho counties receive in federal timber payments for schools and roads. Yeah, yeah, I know - few county commissioners can hit or field as well as A-Rod can … Quotable Quote: “Theology teaches us what ends are desirable and what means are lawful, while politics teaches what means are effective” - C.S. Lewis … This edition of Hot Potatoes was brought to you by the No. 400. Or, the number of Steelworkers idled by the Kaiser Mead shutdown. Or, do you suppose Kaiser’s bean counters feel the workers’ pain? Ha!

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