Talk About Period Should Begin Early

I remember being largely informed about menstruation by pamphlets, Judy Blume, and giggling slumber parties with my girlfriends. As an adult, I see menstruation, in all its glory, trauma and high emotion, as nothing to laugh about.

But it is something to talk about with your daughters and, yes, your sons, according to Jessica Gillooly, Ph.D, author of the recently released “Before she gets her period: Talking with your daughter about menstruation,” published by (Perspective Publishing, $13.95).

I must admit that at first Gillooly’s suggestion to talk with girls about menstruation at the tender age of 8 seemed a little, well, frightening to me, as my own daughter is fast approaching that milestone.

But really, Gillooly’s whole point is that talking - at almost any time before puberty begins - is better than not talking. And puberty begins long before daughters pull their moms (or dads) aside and say, “Guess what.”

The book is essentially about remembering what adults know first hand and then sharing that knowledge so daughters will feel free to ask questions and ask for support.

While the book speaks mainly to women’s experiences, one of the highlights is a chapter for fathers, and ways they can both be informed and have a role in talking with their daughters (and sons) about menstruation. This, according to the author, is the way to get menstruation out of the bathroom cupboard and make it a celebrated rite of passage for girls, or at least the normal part of women’s lives that it is.

According to Gillooly, many girls feel they lose some of their father’s affection when they reach puberty because fathers often change their behavior on the belief that girls at that age or stage want to be treated differently.

This shift in the father/daughter relationship can be less traumatic, and indeed less altogether, if communication is kept open between fathers and daughters. And I think it’s safe to say that fathers who pick up this book (which is for parents, not just moms) will have at least an overview of some of the emotional and physical changes that girls experience before and after the onset of menarche.

Another good point in the book is that boys need information too, and need not be segregated from women by lack of knowledge. A girl’s brothers, says Gillooly, ought to have enough information about menstruation to know not to make crude jokes and tease girls about their physical changes.

This does not mean boys need to know the personal details of their sister’s first period, but it might mean she won’t have to worry about hiding pads or tampons in addition to the other emotional changes she’s going through.

Told largely through anecdotes and first-person accounts of many young and adult women and men, Gillooly’s book offers clear usable explanations of physical processes, conversation starters, and exercises that parents can use to remember, and then share, their own experiences with menstruation. The text is readable, straightforward and helpful for filling information gaps. And, while it may make us all wish our little girls would not grow up so quickly, it may also make us want to be prepared to be there for them when they do.