Defensive Self-Centeredness Can Pre-Empt Good Things

Many people say, “I have learned to say no.” It seems to have become a popular achievement. It’s become so popular that there are seminars on it that teach women, especially, how to start “thinking about ourselves.”

We all need to say no sometimes. Otherwise, we get overloaded and can’t do a good job on anything we undertake.

I personally know the danger of saying yes to everything and neglecting time for personal needs and family. I write articles for magazines and so I’m sometimes inclined to put writing ahead of people. But I’ve found that I’m stronger emotionally and physically if I stop to cheer someone or play a game with a great-grandchild.

I’m reminded of the morning I considered unplugging my phone in order to write and meet a deadline.

Suddenly, something seemed to say, “Don’t do that. You have a friend who needs you today.”

I struggled with the decision whether to unplug the phone. I reminded myself that I deserved a quiet time to finish my important assignment but that inner urging kept me from unplugging the phone.

In a few minutes, I was interrupted by the familiar ring. I was glad I answered when I heard my friend’s distressed voice.

“My husband is dying with cancer. We got the diagnosis today.” She started sobbing. “Will you and your husband visit him and pray with us?”

“Of course, we will come today,” I answered.

“Oh, thank you so much,” she said. “I’m thankful I had someone to call. We are too shocked to face this alone.”

After the phone call, I was sincerely thankful that I hadn’t said no to the urging I’d experienced earlier.

Naturally, I didn’t get my article finished that day. But the joy I got from sharing my time with a hurting friend was much more rewarding than meeting a deadline.

I can’t even remember the article I was working on that day. I’m sure I finished it, sent it in and it was published. But I remember almost every detail of that visit that day with our friends. And that will matter in the long run.

I was strengthened and cheered by reaching out.

I have learned that saying yes is a good word, too.