Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Sun., Feb. 13, 2000

By Jim Kershner jimkershner@comcast.net

Wow, this conspiracy was more clever than I dreamed

I’m beginning to think that we in Spokane’s Entrenched Media Elite actually conspired, in an ingenious backhand way, to get Steve Eugster and Steve Corker elected. For instance, I think the TV stations somehow knew that the two Steves would pull numerous fascinating gaffes right in time for the February sweeps.

He may have `met’ at least one other qualification

Let’s see, Fascinating Gaffe No. 1 was hiring a city manager whose main qualification seemed to be “liked by a Steve.”

That charter never prohibits actual `demanding,’ does it?

Fascinating Gaffe No. 2 was Eugster’s letter in which he exercised his subtle powers of charm and persuasion to suggest that a certain fella be named assistant city manager. Unfortunately, the city charter forbids council members from directing, or even requesting, jobs for any fellas at all.

I like the letter for its literary qualities

Frankly, I don’t care if the memo violates the city charter. I just love the tone of the letter, which, I would approximate roughly as: You vill hire Nick Dragisich, and you vill do it now. Signed, King Steve the First.

And concluding our Totally Steve edition of Bottom Lines …

He’s not King Steve the First, he’s just a guy on the City Council. Although we in the media elite wouldn’t mind if he crowned himself that for, maybe, the May sweeps.

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