Washed Up On ‘The Beach’

Mon., Feb. 21, 2000

Tyler Wilson, Coeur D'Alene

“The Beach” (Rated R)

Leonardo DiCaprio returns to the screen (despite my numerous retirement requests) with “The Beach,” a plotless adventure about three people who travel to a remote island to find a perfect beach and, well, they find it.

Forgive the poor description. The eyes get droopy 20 minutes into this film.

It’s not that “The Beach” is the worst movie ever made. It’s just lost. The hinted “thrilling” moments seen in the trailers actually don’t occur until the last half-hour. This leaves about an hour and a half of lost dialogue and irrelevant points.

After a lengthy, corny journey to the island, the adventurers end up doing what they might do if they were in another sequel of “Weekend At Bernie’s.”

After an hour at Club Med, DiCaprio’s character goes through a series of strange mind games with himself that hints at some deep issues, but unfortunately doesn’t amount to much.

“The Beach” has some good qualities that just don’t hold the film together. A solid ending almost saves the project. And despite the hatred toward DiCaprio that most guys (especially me) hold, DiCaprio actually is a bright spot.

The other actors are lost in their sappy lines. DiCaprio’s decent acting holds “The Beach” above a failing grade.

Somewhere there was a point in “The Beach” that could have led to a good DiCaprio movie. But the film didn’t lead anywhere, leaving “The Beach” an even worse sink than “Titanic.”

Grade: D+

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