Balance Your Life To Avoid Stress

Mon., Feb. 28, 2000

Q. I think I’m getting burned out. I’ve always been a very busy person, involved in many activities and taken tough classes, but this year I’m always stressed about everything I have to do. Right now I feel like quitting everything. Any advice?

A. I think there are a couple of things to look at in understanding and learning from what you are experiencing. First ask yourself why now are you becoming more stressed and overwhelmed? Are there things going on in your personal and family life that are affecting you, adding to the feeling of being overwhelmed? If so, it’s important to recognize this and deal with these issues. Sometimes personal problems result in depression, with one symptom being apathy.

Another thing to examine is your lifestyle. I think everyone needs to prioritize what is really important and to have a balance in one’s life. Without this balance, signals of stress can occur. A balanced life for a teen might consist of time with friends or family, recreation, exercise, academics and spirituality. There should also be balance in planning for the future and enjoying the present. If your stress level continues, it is important to talk about this with your parents or a counselor.- Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. Adolescent & Adult counseling

A. You are involved in a lot of activities that will look good on a college application but they aren’t worth it if your health is suffering and you are feeling stressed. You need to consider which activities are most important to you and why. Then try discarding the activities that you are less interested in. An example would be if you really like to sing and only sort of like to act, and you are in choir and drama, you might want to drop drama.- Jennifer Kassner, Shadle Park

Q. My little brother looks up to me, and my parents are always using me as an example for him to either follow (when I do good things) or not follow (when I mess up). I don’t like having that kind of pressure, it’s as if my little brother’s future rests on my shoulders. Is there anything I can do?

A. I hope you are able to talk with your parents about this pressure. Not only is it difficult for you, but it is possible your little brother feels like he is in your shadow. I think parents often make comparisons out of anxiety with the intent of motivating the siblings as well as a way of praising the other child. I would imagine your parents have not realized the impact it is having on you. Hopefully, if you tell them, the pressure will diminish.

Another thing to keep in mind is that although you are not responsible for your brother’s future, I’m sure you are aware that you do have an impact on your brother. I think it is important to act in a way that is in accordance with your values and rules of your home, which will help you feel good about yourself as well as having a positive influence on your brother. I hope you see this not as a pressure to be a certain way for your brother but more about becoming the kind of person you want to be.- Stacey Mainer

A. You should try to talk to your parents and tell them how you feel because they need to understand you’re not perfect and you are going to make mistakes.

Your parents have their reasons for what they do and you must cooperate with them to try to work past the differences.- Jennifer Kassner

What’s your advice?

Q: My parents really want me to do something, a specific activity. I tried it for a while and just didn’t get excited about it. So I told them I was quitting. They weren’t happy about this. For some reason, they really, really want me to keep going. They’ve said they think it would be good for my future and I can’t seem to convince them that I can do other things that would be just as good. Help.

Q. My girlfriend dumped me and won’t tell me why. I saw absolutely no warnings that this was coming. We had just had a great time on some recent dates. She’s being really cold to me. I suppose I need to just put it behind me, but I can’t without knowing what went wrong. How can I get her to explain why she did it?

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