Blond Jokes Can Be Rude, Hurtful
Q.Everyone makes fun of me because I am blonde. It’s starting to hurt my feelings, and I’ve thought about dying my hair. I know there is a stereotype about blondes, but I’m just tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes. How can I get people to stop making fun of me?
A. People can be very insensitive when making jokes.
For some, teasing can damage their self-image. It is important for you to realize that this joking is not a personal statement of who you are. A possible way to handle this joking is to look them straight in the eyes and tell them to stop and that this joking is rude and you don’t want to hear it. For some, this assertiveness will be enough. Others, however, might continue to tease. In this case, I think walking away might be your only option.- Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. Adolescent & Adult counseling
A. Have you made it clear that you don’t like the jokes? A lot of people respond to teasing they don’t like by laughing it off as if it didn’t bother them, and, consequently, the teasers don’t realize that they’re hurting the person. If you just tell people politely that it hurts your feelings, they will probably stop.- Kathy Bula, East Valley
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. A couple of weeks ago he was drunk and slept with my best friend. Part of me really wants to forgive him, but part of me doesn’t think I can ever trust him again. What should I do?
A. What do you value in a relationship? Do you believe that trust, honesty and loyalty are important in a relationship? If you do, then the real dilemma is that your boyfriend does not appear to share these values. Ask yourself why you would stay with someone who has broken your trust, is dishonest and disloyal? I think many people minimize cheating in a relationship because they so badly want to be with someone. I am glad you are questioning this relationship and not simply forgiving him. Although I don’t know the history of your relationship, the drinking and sleeping with your friend do not indicate a person of character. This is also a time to look at the relationship with your best friend. Is there trust, honesty and loyalty? It will be tough to examine two relationships which have meant a great deal to you. I know, however, that by doing this you will have greater pride in yourself and your future relationships will be much stronger.- Stacey Mainer
A.If there is any doubt in your mind whether you can trust him, then you should break up with him. You can’t have a relationship without trust and respect. Obviously your boyfriend didn’t respect you enough to stay away from your friend, drunk or not! (P.S. Maybe you should look at your “best” friend in this situation, too. Your boyfriend may not be the only person you need to dump.)- Brittani Kelly and Janna Morton
A.Your boyfriend got drunk. Obviously he was not thinking about the consequences of what might happen. This also means he was not thinking about you either. Has he slept with other people while you two have been going out? If not, then maybe it was just a major mistake on his part, and he will learn from it. Forgive him but remind him to not let it happen again. On the other hand, if this has happened before, then you should consider breaking up.- Lance Kissler, Odessa
What’s your advice?
Q: I’ve been dating this girl for a few months. I really like her; we get along great. The thing is she always wants gifts. Every time we go out, she asks, “What did you bring me?” It’s not that I don’t want to give her things, it’s that I don’t have a lot of money to buy gifts all the time. And, it kind of bothers me that she just expects me to bring her something. Any ideas how to get around this little problem?
Q. My sister has a boyfriend whom I can’t stand. I love hanging out with her but every time I do, he’s around. What do I do?
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