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How to shrink the shrink

St. Louis Rams coach Dick Vermeil reportedly is not the workaholic he was when he coached the Philadelphia Eagles in the 1970s.

Jim Murray, then the general manager of the Eagles, told Bill Lyon of the Philadelphia Inquirer: “We were really worried about Dick, the way he was driving himself, shut off from the world. So finally Carol (Vermeil’s wife) and I convinced him to see the team psychiatrist.

“He goes kicking and screaming all the way, and he comes back a while later, and his jaw is out to here, you know how he is, and Carol asks him, `So how did it go?’ “And Dick says, `Criminy, it’d take me a good week, at least, to straighten that guy out.”’

It’s Babe, stupid

Railing against ESPN’s choice of Michael Jordan as athlete of the century, ahead of Babe Ruth, Bill Conlin of the Philadelphia Daily News points out:

“One of the Ruth myths is that he was just this all-or-nothing swinger who struck out a ton, a better Dave Kingman.

But in his 22-year career, Babe never struck out more than 93 times in a season. Mark McGwire air-conditioned his 70 home runs in ‘98 with 155 whiffs.”

It’s agreed then. Babe Ruth should be slightly higher on the list than Mark McGwire.

No left turns

Donald Trump wants to build a $200 million speedway within sight of the New York skyline.

“Trump - tycoon, entrepreneur, playboy, presidential wannabe - wants in on NASCAR,” wrote Larry Woody in the Nashville Tennessean. “The Donald wants to become the Bubba.”

Iver Peterson of the New York Times is unsure about Trump’s proposed track.

“Are people this far north ready for the foot-stomping, Confederate-flag-waving, rebel-yelling, hard-charging world of stock car racing?”

“Will Manhattan sophisticates, Greenwich stockbrokers, Hoboken artists and the general run of suburban homebodies really want to jam the front-row seats to exult at the sting from bits of tar, tire tread and unburned hydrocarbons as the big cars go shrieking down the straightaway?”

Puttin’ 2 and 2 together

Florida State receiver Peter Warrick has no idea how Virginia Tech got its nickname. When asked what a Hokie was, he answered, “It’s a sandwich, right?”

Told that the name comes from a chant done by the student body and that the team mascot is a turkey, Warrick quickly amended his answer.

“Turkey sandwich,” he said.

The last word …

“I told my mom a long time ago I’d like to live to be 150. She said, `Why?’ I said I’d like to make the rest of the people mad that I haven’t made mad yet.”

- Mike Ditka