Call It Gen-Eq Publishers’ Clearinghouse

Any conclusion worth having is worth jumping to:

Publishers pulled the plug on Women’s Sports and Fitness magazine and shadow-of-its-old-self Sport on the same day last week. Gender equity strikes again.

If ABC wants funny, they should have Dana Carvey imitate Dennis Miller on “Monday Night Football.”

Congratulations, good luck and whatever else can be said with a mouthful of crow to Idaho’s Kaniel Dickens. But his being drafted by the Utah Jazz is yet another indictment of the National Basketball Association’s obsession with athletes and not with, well, basketball players.

Mike Tyson simply will not be happy until he’s trussed up like Hannibal Lecter, now will he?

The final Sears Directors Cup standings for all-sports athletic success ranked Washington State 137th this year among the nation’s colleges - one spot behind Vermont, which is Division I in maple syrup but not much else.

In a pro sports first, the WNBA’s Seattle Storm sponsored Gay Pride Night on Friday at KeyArena, discounting seats for groups of 15 or more alternative lifestylers. Cheers for that - should the Chiefs or Indians ever do anything quite so bold locally, I just may get off their promotional case. But if the Storm is really serious about encouraging diversity in its fan base, then it’s going to have to sponsor Heavily Tattooed Heterosexual Males With Incomes Under $35,000 Who Think Goldberg Is God Night, too.

Junior who?

If the College World Series is double elimination, then why didn’t Stanford get a do-over after losing to LSU? Oh, right, because TV is the NCAA’s favorite John. I forgot.

Isaac Burton, who conspired with Hedake Smith and gamblers to manipulate point spreads at Arizona State a few years ago, never made his plane to join the Los Angeles team at this year’s Hoopfest, marking the first time a player has ever shaved an entire tournament.

Another antidote to recruiting day hype: Adam Bledsoe, ballyhooed brother of Drew, transfers from Colorado to Western Oregon.

If Miami hires Perry Clark away from Tulane to be its next basketball coach, then it stands to reason that Tulane athletic director Rick Dickson will ask his old school, Washington State, for permission to talk to Paul Graham. Doesn’t it?

Oregon - where John Chaplin was once excoriated for bringing Henry Rono and his countrymen to run at Hayward Field just signed a Kenyan distance runner, Symon Kimata. Next: Linda Tripp asks Monica Lewinsky for makeup tips.

The Dave Justice trade - did Cleveland general manager John Hart have to borrow Jerry Reinsdorf’s white flag, or did he make one himself out of a broken bat and a sanitary sock?

Time out. Jason Terry is paying back some $45,000 of NCAA Tournament revenue the University of Arizona had to return because he had accepted money from an agent and would have been ineligible in 1999? So he was, technically, an employee who embezzled? And as an employee, was he not eligible for a salary, benefits, workman’s compensation and all sorts of other things that should blow the NCAA right out of the indenture business?

Ex-Mariner Factor Stat of the Week: Mac Suzuki, Kansas City Royals, 3-2, 3.98 ERA.

Last week at Wimbledon: The Stevenson women claim racism and harassment, the French women call the Stevensons liars, Mary Pierce poor-mouths the tournament for not accommodating players, Jeff Tarango accuses an opponent of faking injury, Jelena Dokic’s dad wigs out again, Anna Smashnova (great name) tries to hit her opponent’s husband with a ball but smacks another spectator instead and Andre Agassi chews out a referee. But don’t you dare talk while somebody’s serving.

On the other hand, Jan-Michael Gambill.

Sure, if he was running better, Chad Little wouldn’t be losing his Winston Cup ride. But you can still qualify for the U.S. Open with pawnshop irons; without somebody else’s money, you can’t run Daytona or Indy or Le Mans or the Columbia Cup, which tends to take the sport part out of motor sports.

If the Yankees were better marketeers, Chuck Knoblauch Helmet Night would be right around the corner.

Let’s see - Boomer Esiason gets replaced on “Monday Night Football” by another ex-quarterback 10 years older with allegedly better insights. But Lesley Visser gets replaced on the sideline by another female 20 years younger with better, well, you decide. Are you ready for some lawsuit?

If there is such a thing as the Sports Illustrated jinx, does that mean Anna Kournikova will actually win a tournament now?

I’m assuming this was done by a maintenance man with a sense of humor, but there is a portable restroom at Wazzu with the legend “Go Cougs Go” painted on it.

On a related note, new drug testing guidelines at the Tour de France: To avoid a DQ, whoever’s wearing the yellow jersey must have a urine specimen to match.

For his safety, good thing baseball talked John Rocker out of taking the No. 7 train to Shea Stadium with all the foreigners. Much better to take a cab.