Key Moments Chris Holcomb, 27

Sex on the streets of Spokane can kill you. Chris Holcomb knows that, and it gives him nightmares. But he can’t stop. Even when he was diagnosed as HIV positive in 1995, he couldn’t stop. He’s kept his secret from scores of sexual partners.

Yet Holcomb now considers himself a street preacher of sorts, warning homeless kids and others to be on guard against the deadly virus.

Holcomb, who says he’s bisexual, doesn’t live on the streets. But he meets street people like Jody West who are vulnerable to anyone who offers affection and therefore need his message the most, he believes.

Holcomb tells this story: He was once a teenage prostitute, hanging out at First and Adams, trading sex for money to buy drugs and booze. By 1995, when he tested positive for HIV, he couldn’t pinpoint the source. He’d rarely used condoms. “Plastic on my body parts!” he still says with disgust.

So why didn’t he tell his partners? Partly because he saw others with HIV have casual, unprotected sex. Happened all the time. “If they can do it, so can I,” he assured himself.

He also blamed his partners’ carelessness. “They didn’t even ask my status,” he says, looking aghast.

Mostly, Holcomb was afraid of being rejected. He did stop prostituting shortly after his diagnosis, he says, but continued having unprotected sexual flings. That choice haunts him daily, he says.

“Look at all those lives I’ve ruined by selfishness and greed. Look at the people I didn’t tell. What about them? They didn’t have a chance.”

Not only is the practice unethical and irresponsible, it’s legally risky, says Christopher Zilar, HIV prevention specialist at the Spokane Regional Health District. It’s a Class A felony to knowingly transmit HIV, but cases can be tough to prosecute because victims must prove where they got the disease.

Now, Holcomb says, he usually tells partners up front. Like the man he met at an adult bookstore recently. Holcomb was happy the man agreed to sex anyway, using a condom. “It hurts to be turned down because of a disease,” he says.

Holcomb still has his struggles when it comes to sex. For one thing, he says, he’s attracted to teenage boys and occasionally can’t resist sex with them.

“I don’t make it a habit — not because it’s wrong, but because society says it’s wrong,” he says.

A few months ago, Holcomb stopped taking medication to control the HIV symptoms, determined to fight the disease on his own. Now he’s fatigued and nauseated, but not sick enough to give up his daily walks downtown. “I smoke pot, talk to the kids, try not to be attracted to them. I mostly walk about because I don’t like to be alone.”

Occasionally, he admits, he ignores his own preaching.

This spring, for instance, he had oral sex with a stranger at People’s Park and never mentioned his HIV status.

“I feel disgusted about it,” says Holcomb. “But he didn’t ask.”