Convention Good For A Laugh - And A Lesson

The roar of applause made it clear exactly which candidate the Central Valley High School students would elect in last week’s political convention.

Ernie Tate, lilacs tucked behind his ears, won the nomination as candidate from the General Independent Moderate Progressive Party. That’s GIMPP for short. And yes, it’s a somewhat less than, uh, formal reference to Tate’s use of a wheelchair.

Teachers and students alike had their sense of humor on strong display for the political convention.

Tate rolled through the hall after lunch, doing a bit of last minute politicking. In the classroom designated as Massachusetts, he promised: “The first thing I will do is wipe the name of Chappaquiddick from the book!”

The next room got this appealing campaign promise: “If I’m elected, everyone in here will get 10 percent higher grades.”

Opposing candidate Steven Daines was equally candid. He had his well-known family name going for him, but he admitted, “I’m actually just a figurehead candidate.” Clad in an eye-catching pearl-grey cowboy suit and hat, Daines towered over many of his fellow students.

“My cousin Bryce came to me and said `People don’t like me. Do people like you?’ We’ll find out.”

From the John Philip Sousa march blaring over the PA system, to bunting and the earnest speeches, Central Valley 1,200 students learned what a national political convention is all about.

The daylong event last Thursday involved hundreds of hours of planning, starting last September.

Each state in the union was represented by a tutorial advisory period class.

The issues that went to vote included legalizing marijuana, annexing Canada and requiring parental consent for minors wanting an abortion. Only parental consent drew nearly unanimous support.

The convention was a weird mix of fraternity-like humor - the kidnapping of national delegate Chris Dockrey, for instance - and serious political process. “We wanted the students to learn the importance of getting involved in democracy,” said teacher and organizer William Gilchrist. “We wanted them to know that every voice must be heard.”

The 1,200 CV High students filled the gym with their noise, their signs, their traditional boater hats. Washington state delegates waved evergreen trees. Hawaii’s delegates wore aloha shirts.

Candidate “Kris Tov” - aka Chris Fosse - led the Communist Party with dark glasses, a red beret and a phoney Russian accent. Fosse explained that he does not actually believe in communism, he simply wanted to try rallying the students. “It’s the challenge of being a party that never gets any votes,” Fosse explained.

But in the end, Tate carried the day as the convention’s delegate for the presidency.

Why a teacher, when this convention was for the students of the high school?

“Everybody loves Mr. Tate,” explained one of his TAP students.

But Steven Daines, the figurehead candidate, probably said it best: “Hey, he’s a teacher. (Tate)’s well known. He’s got respect. Me, I’m just a student. I just go to class and try to get things done.”