Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Sun., June 18, 2000

By Jim Kershner jimkershner@comcast.net

You kids quit your squabbling or I’ll stop this meeting right now

The sooner Spokane gets a strong mayor, the better. We need a parental figure who can send the entire City Council to the “time-out” corner.

Helen has a keen perspective on history

Rep. Helen Chenoweth-Hage (R-Frontierland) called Clinton’s national monument act “the biggest land-grab since the invasion of Poland,” which apparently makes it bigger than Hitler’s invasions of Denmark, Norway, Belgium, The Netherlands and France, and that only takes us through 1940.

Oh, the humanity

Other than that, her analogy is right on the money. If I were to pick a historic atrocity that ranks right up there with sending Panzers into Warsaw, it would be: Building a nice visitors center at Hanford Reach.

Their tracking system is slightly less sophisticated than Blockbuster’s

Two computer hard drives filled with nuclear weapons secrets disappeared at Los Alamos. Officials vowed to charge a serious late fee to anyone who keeps them past the “two-evening-rental” limit.

Buchanan isn’t afraid to tackle the biggest issues of the 19th century

Pat Buchanan has taken up the cause of Confederate flags and commemorative plaques, which virtually guarantees him the crucial Johnny Reb vote in the key states of New York, California and Illinois.

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are tax deductible.

Meet Our Journalists

Jesse Tinsley

Meet Jesse Tinsley. As a certified drone pilot, this veteran Spokesman-Review photographer often can be seen capturing beautiful aerial photographs of our region. Sometimes though, the job requires getting down with the dogs.
Jim Meehan

Jim Meehan is no stranger to Zag Nation. As the lead writer covering the Gonzaga men’s basketball team, he tells the stories behind the game and gets fans a bit closer to their favorite players.
Molly Quinn

There is no artist in Spokane like Molly Quinn. Her whimsical style is instantly recognizable to readers of The Spokesman-Review. She has painted gorgeous illustrations that instantly elevate the journalism accompanying it. She brings to life the stories that defy photography. She makes our pages better.
Rob Curley

Spokesman-Review editor Rob Curley loves to talk with people and learn about their lives, whether it's a best-selling author or a stranger he meets downtown on his walk to lunch. It's that inquisitive nature combined with a playful sense of storytelling that helps make our newspaper different than most.