Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Sun., June 25, 2000

By Jim Kershner jimkershner@comcast.net

We don’t get much credit ‘round these parts

This just in: Standard and Poors just downgraded Spokane’s credit rating from AA-minus to “deadbeat welfare dad.”

Should we throw away our reputation on some `fad’?

A group of health care professionals want to fluoridate Spokane’s water, thus jeopardizing our carefully cultivated reputation as toothless hill folk.

I am willing to flap my gums on this issue

Living without fluoridation here in Spokane has not hurt me a bit, and I am willing to testify to this at any public hearing by standing up and saying: “Mmmgff, merbles gloorben.”

Who would have thought that he had time to fix gas prices?

George W. Bush has been looking into why gas prices are so high, and has discovered, to his vast surprise, that it is Bill Clinton’s fault.

Surely it isn’t anything as complex as market-pricing fluctuations

So Clinton and Gore looked into the same issue and discovered, to their horror: It’s all George W. Bush’s fault. Could this be, possibly, an election year?

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