A Monument To Massage

It’s not every day the subject of an interview looks me squarely in the eye and says:

“Downstairs I have about 100 vibrators.”

Fortunately, there was no reason to run screaming for the door. Spokane’s Robert Calvert is perhaps the only man on the planet who can claim such a collection without fear of being taken for an unsavory character.

That’s because none of the aforementioned vibration equipment was designed for, ahem, prurient purposes. These are all legitimate therapeutic devices destined for a place of honor in Calvert’s latest venture.

The World of Massage Museum.

Isn’t that the way it goes? Seattle gets Paul Allen’s rock ‘n’ roll exhibition. We get a roll and rubdown museum.

Yet Calvert believes a gallery filled with antique body rollers, therapy tables, magnetic gizmos and ancient liniment containers will give the public “a deep appreciation for the depth and the history of massage.”

Don’t snicker. Calvert cheerfully admits he’s a bit eccentric, but he also has a very well-endowed bank account, thanks to this touchy-feely subject.

He and wife, Judi, own Massage magazine, a thick and glossy Spokane-based publication circulated to 120,000 readers in 60 countries. Past covers have featured sports stars like Chris Evert and Sugar Ray Leonard.

To create their museum, the Calverts recently bought the historic bank building at 518 S. Maple from architects Steve and Leslie Ronald.

Calvert plans to put his multithousand-piece collection devoted to “anything and everything massage” inside the old building’s beautifully modernized interior. Although the grand opening is months away, Calvert’s dream is already beginning to take shape.

The museum will feature a juice bar and room for audiovisual presentations. There will also be historically accurate mock-ups, like one of an old doctor’s office.

Still you have to wonder: Will the public line up and shell out admission to gaze at an 1882 bottle of Dr. Alexander’s Healing Oil or a 1928 Neway Body Roller?

Calvert swears we will. “It’s curiosity,” he says. “I think that’s what will bring them in.”

If you haven’t figured it out by now, Calvert is completely, overwhelmingly and emphatically bonkers about massage.

He collects massage-related items the way 10-year-old boys collect baseball cards. He haunts antique stores and surfs Internet auction sites for more items to add to his ever-swelling accumulation.

How weird does it get? The man recently bought a Scooby Doo steering wheel cover because it has a “massage grip.”

Calvert has authored two books on the subject. He can talk and talk about the primordial roots of therapeutic touch. Massage traditions, he contends, actually sprang out of the grooming habits of primates.

Well, I’ll be a monkey’s masseuse.

And if all this isn’t enough to prove his passion, this story should do the trick.

While vacationing in Mexico not long ago, the Calverts spotted a young Mexican boy wearing a T-shirt. On the shirt was a cartoon of a voluptuous woman giving her boyfriend a back rub. Above them were the words “The Massager.”

Calvert watched while Judi bartered with the boy until he agreed to trade his weathered T-shirt for a brand new shirt.

“He literally gave us the shirt off his back,” says Calvert, beaming.

A former steelworker, Calvert became a marriage and family counselor wanting to help others.

He eventually became convinced that the body’s well-being had a lot to do with the emotional state. His research along those lines led him to massage.

In 1980, he opened Bodyworks School of Muscle Therapy. The magazine came five years later. And soon he will become curator to what he calls the world’s first massage museum.

“I consider myself a pioneer in a field that’s pretty unique,” says Calvert. “I believe in the value of touch.”