Potential Risks Outweigh The Good
Q. I’ve been invited to a party, and I really want to go. But I’m hearing from others that these parties can get pretty wild with alcohol, drugs and sex. I do want to go, but I’m a little scared I won’t know how to handle it. I don’t go to a lot of parties in general. Do you think I should go?
A. I am very impressed with your maturity in asking this question; you sound like someone who is sorting out what is best for you rather than just following others. No, I don’t think you should go for two reasons:
You are aware of the potential problems and know it could be difficult for you to handle this. Some of the risks are getting hurt physically and emotionally, unwise sexual involvement, poor decisions, embarrassment and regrets.
Drugs and alcohol are illegal. Are you prepared for the consequences if the police or your parents are involved? What are your beliefs about doing something illegal?
I hope this gives you something to think about when making your decision. I believe this is an opportunity for you to choose which direction you want to take in life. - Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. adolescent and adult counseling
A. Before you decide, ask yourself, “What kind of danger will I be setting myself up for?” Too many parties involve sex, drugs and eventually the police. Do you consider that an evening of fun? I wouldn’t advise going because all you are setting yourself up for is trouble and danger. Besides, there are plenty of other things to do. I suggest going to a movie, a school dance, hanging out at the mall or have a sleepover instead.- Jennifer Kassner, Shadle Park
A. It’s understandable wanting to go to a party you’ve been invited to and know a lot of people who are going. But I think that if you “don’t know how to handle it” then you shouldn’t go. If you’re unsure of how to handle it now, you won’t be any more confident once you’re there. If there is alcohol, drugs and sex, whether or not you do any of those, you are still guilty by association. Why not get a group of your friends together and do something else? - Bri Godwin, Mead
Q. Do you think Internet relationships are a good idea?
A. I think an Internet relationship can be difficult and dangerous. People can say whatever they want, and a sense of closeness can develop without really knowing the truth about each other. I think, for a relationship to be meaningful, you have to spend time with a person and really get to know them.- Stacey Mainer
A. No, I don’t think Internet relationships are a good idea. You never really know who is on the other end. There are plenty of teens in our area whom we have an opportunity to meet in school or at parties, dances or places where teens like to hang out. At least this way you have a chance to get to know who and what this person is really about.- Bri Godwin
A. I strongly advise staying away from Internet relationships because you never know what trouble you might get into. A person might say he is a 16-year-old male and really be a child molester. In the news we hear about teens and kids who go meet an Internet boyfriend or girlfriend and disappear, are raped or murdered. I don’t think you can ever be too careful about your life. - Jennifer Kassner
What’s your advice?
Q. My friend thinks I’m trying to take all of the guys she has a crush on. How can I convince her I’m not. We’ve been friends since the beginning of the school year, and I want to remain friends.
Q. I’m not what most girls consider “good-looking” but I am a very nice guy who would treat a girl well. It seems girls just don’t want to look past my outward appearance and see the real me. It’s getting depressing. Is there anything I can do?