Forever Grateful

A few months ago, a 39-year-old Spokane man named Kaare (pronounced Corey) Charles Beell sent an article to the newspaper with this note:

“Please help me. I have sent postcards to these people and told them personally how much they mean to me and it still just doesn’t seem like enough. What they do really does make a difference. People like me don’t have a lot to give back, so PLEASE help me thank them. You can correct my spelling. I only went to 7th grade.”

Below, he tells his story.

I’m a recovering heroin addict. In November 1998, I came to Spokane from Everett, carrying with me the news I had always hoped I would never hear. I was HIV positive.

I got off the bus at the terminal and in my front jeans pocket I had a number to call in Spokane to get help with my HIV. Instead of calling, I hooked up with a woman in downtown Spokane who had escaped incarceration by failing to return to Geiger Corrections Center from work release. Instead, she got her paycheck, cashed it and was attempting to get some crank (speed). I told her I could help and could also keep her hidden from the police.

I knew I was making the most important decision of my life, and I knew I was making it wrong. I already had been diagnosed HIV positive, plus I had hepatitis B and C and was about to get back into intravenous drug use.

I have been addicted to heroin for 20-plus years and had been released from jail after serving 13 months for assault and theft. I served the last month of that in Everett and decided to settle in Spokane after being released because I thought I would be better off here.

Something came over me as the woman and I made plans. I ran from her and found a secluded phone booth to hide in and to call the number given to me in Everett.

That was the beginning of an experience that has yet to end. It has been a time of discovery of love, friendship, caring and genuine concern.

You often read about social service agencies that help people like me who have hit bottom. Taxpayers pay for these services or generous people donate time and money to them. I hope my story helps you understand that these programs do make a difference especially for people society sometimes gives up on.

The man who answered my call, Dale Briese, works at Spokane AIDS Network. I told him what was going on with the woman and the crank, and I asked him if I could still get help. He said, “Stay right where you are. I’m on my way.” He then hopped into his car, picked me up and we drove to the AIDS Network office. He helped me find a room to live in and hooked me up with a case manager. Thank you, Dale, I believe you saved my life. Had you not come to get me so fast, I would have been back in the rut of using.

Another woman, Becky Nauditt, works for the Spokane Regional Health District. Becky got me a doctor without money up front. She also got me a coat and sweater through the Tree of Sharing program to wear since it was cold out and I had nothing to my name but tennis shoes, pants, a shirt and a baseball cap. Becky then helped me get AIDS medication that cost thousands and thousands of dollars.

She helped me pay my bills when I simply didn’t have enough to pay for the things everyone said I would need, such as a cane, a leg brace, food. The list goes on.

Thank you, Becky. Without you I would never have figured this thing out and surely would have given up on myself. Because of you, I now believe one person CAN make a difference and people really do care. Love can conquer all.

I eventually was given a new case manager, Ann Riedel, who in three to four short months has impacted my life tremendously. She made it possible to move into a comfortable home that actually has a bedroom. She has done so much in such a short time I can’t write it all down without a list in front of me.

Ann, your kindness, concern and honesty has reopened my mind to so many things. When it comes to you, I’m certain you and your whole family have a place next to God himself in the next life.

A year ago, I relapsed briefly and began using heroin again. A man came to my house from the health district’s substance misuse services program. He said he was answering a call I had made. I don’t remember making this call. He said he could help me if I wanted it.

Before I knew it, I was in drug treatment in the methadone program. Now I’m sure many people think methadone is a bad thing. People think you are just replacing one drug for another, and that it doesn’t address any of the underlying issues. But let me tell you this: I am no longer sharing needles. I am no longer stealing hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars every day from the community. I am no longer a threat to anyone’s security.

The man who came to my house, Tom Bisenius, is not only my drug counselor, but also a friend, someone I can actually say anything to and not fear his response.

Because of Tom, I no longer wake up sick every morning, and I can actually feel love again. I made it to a five-day retreat for those with HIV/AIDS because Tom drove me from North Idaho, where the retreat was held, back to Spokane every morning at 5 a.m. so I could get my methadone dose. He paid for the gas, and did it on his vacation time.

Tom, thank you. Your effort in helping others get off drugs should be recognized nationally. There aren’t enough thanks to give to you.

And I’d like to thank my fiancee, Lisa Glotfelty. She knew I had HIV and fell in love with me anyway. She has given me her shoulder to cry on dozens of times. She has fed me only to watch me throw up because of the AIDS treatment and then she’d make me another meal all over again.

She has taken it upon herself to see that I take my meds. She has stood there crying, telling me I’m killing myself if I don’t take my meds and that it’s totally unfair to her, to not try as hard as I can to be with her for as long as I can.

She knows I’m progressing 10 times faster than most AIDS patients because of prior immune damage. Yet she is 110 percent for me through the nausea, the doctors visits, the meds and the risks.

Lisa, thank you honey, thank you.

There are so many other people to thank — Edna, Velma and Sherry, the secretaries at the AIDs Network and health district who are constantly helping me. Yes, it’s their job, but until you meet them all, take my word for it. They are all underpaid and their smiles alone are worth their paychecks, as far as I am concerned.

Ann, Jeff, Kurt, Debbie, Chris, Tinker, Julie — the names go on and on. You have helped me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You all saved a dying man from himself.

My life is wonderful now. I look forward to waking up every day. I look forward to seeing people, to talking to people, all because of YOUR love.

You are my teachers and my parents and my family. I love all of you and it’s my promise to myself that every day of the rest of my life I will try to love and help someone the way you have helped me.