Negativism Can Change With Effort
Q. Two of my friends have started taking anti-depressants. I never considered myself depressed but compared to them, I’m now the negative one. It’s starting to make me wonder if I need to be taking medication.
A. Some of the signs of depression are disturbance of sleep and eating habits, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, decreased interest in activities, feeling sad and teary-eyed, as well as negative thinking. If you are experiencing these signs tell your parents and ask if you could see a doctor.
If you are only experiencing negative thinking, this most likely is not depression. Perhaps your negative thinking is more apparent to you since your friends have changed. Changing your negative thinking will take some effort on your part. You will have to identify the negative thoughts and then find a positive way to look at things. Hanging out with positive friends will help. - Stacey Mainer, M.S.W. Adolescent & Adult counseling
A. Medication is not a cure for a negative attitude; that is something that can only be repaired by your inner efforts. - Kathy Bula, East Valley
Q. I moved to Spokane a few months ago from a much bigger city where there was a lot more variety in styles and attitudes. I’ve had a hard time fitting in because everyone seems so conservative in the way they think and the clothes they wear. I’m a good student, but I think people are stereotyping me because of the way I dress.
A. If you change your style of clothing to fit in, you will not be yourself. But if you don’t change your clothing, you won’t fit in. Both options are extreme. I think there are other changes you can make without compromising who you are. Are you friendly, sincere and open to others’ style or way of thinking? Do you let people know who you are? Are you involved in activities where you can meet people with similar interests? If you are already doing these things without success, there is a way to modify your appearance and still be yourself. The real you is not just expressed through clothing but also in your personality and values.
You will face this dilemma many times in your life. How do I hold true to who I am and have relationships and achieve what I want? Although minor adjustments will always have to be made, the choice to remain true to yourself will in the long run lead to greater satisfaction and happiness. - Stacey Mainer
A. Having been here only a few months, you may not have had the opportunity to meet all the different types of people here. While it’s true that this area isn’t as diverse as some other parts of the country, there are all kinds of people here you can meet if you’re willing to seek them out. So dress however you want, but broaden your horizons. You may be subconsciously, and wrongly, stereotyping others as “conservative” based on a limited amount of information just as you feel they are stereotyping you based on your choice of clothing. - Kathy Bula
What’s your advice?
Q: My friends and I often get into deep philosophical debates on various issues. We recently had one on suicide. It was pretty intense. Both of my friends said they’ve thought about suicide, but not that they were actually thinking of committing suicide but rather just “what if?” kinds of thoughts, wondering how a suicide would affect their families and friends. Still, it kind of scared me. Should I be worried about my friends?
Q. I have a very embarrassing problem. My feet stink. I’ve tried tons of soaps, powders and creams and things in my shoes but nothing helps. My parents think I’m overreacting and it’s not that bad, but I’m getting more and more self-conscious about it all the time. Any suggestions?
Answer these questions or submit your own questions by writing to: Our Generation/Advice, 999 W. Riverside, Spokane, WA 99201. Fax (509) 459-5098 or e-mail ourgeneration@spokesman.com. Please include your name and school for our records.