Signs You Need To Shut Up

10. You have a very high, shrill voice, sort of like a dental drill.

9. Revealing your childhood nickname “Spanky” might not have been the best idea.

8. That pesky librarian is reaching for her gun.

7. You just explained to the cop who pulled you over that you were only going fast “for fun.”

6. That story about how you put on your shoes this morning is starting to get old.

5. Your mother is right behind you.

4. You interrupt yourself.

3. You’ve told everyone your deepest secrets at least four times.

2. You have always wondered why random people keep on giving you the finger.

And the No. 1 sign you need to shut up is: You have spent 9 hours on the phone with the same person - and they hung up 8 hours ago.