Keyes A Hit In N. Idaho

Random thoughts about presidential wannabe Alan Keyes’ appearance at North Idaho College Thursday: Isn’t there something ironic about a black politician with no chance of winning being cheered wildly by a turnaway crowd of 1,200 “right-wing, religious wackos”? In North Idaho? … The Keyesfest, with its religious and patriotic songs, reminded Commissioner Ron Rankin of World War II patriotic rallies. (For you twentysomethings, that’s the war in which Tom Hanks saved Private Ryan) … No moderate GOP wannabes attended the event to meet Keyes or bask in the applause of an energized audience … Mister Mayor Steve Judy also missed a chance to win some badly needed positive exposure. He declined an invitation to join Rankin on stage to welcome Keyes.

Keyes to the city

Keyes was surprised when a reporter asked if he was nervous about coming to North Idaho. Said he: “Why? What stereotype does Idaho have? That it’s so full of beauty? Or is it the other stereotype that it’s full of Keyes’ supporters?” … For those keeping score at home, major-party wannabes who attended the Keyesfest included: Dennis Mansfield (Congress); Curtis Ellis, Kris Ellis, Tina Jacobson and Richard Harwood (Legislature); and Rich Piazza, Kevin Krieg and Democrat Mike Stine (Kootenai County commissioner) … Separatist Richard Masker was the guy who interrupted Mansfield’s speech by asking: “Do you believe treason governs America?” (Mansfield scored points with anti-Clintonistas by answering: “Yes, and its address is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.) … Mansfield once told the Washington press corps that he was prepared to fill Congressman Helen Chenoweth’s shoes: “I prefer flats, but I’ll wear high heels if it takes me into Congress.”

Rumorama

Rumors (to be taken lightly) this silly season include: The Hayden Lake Country Club R’s believe Rankin is behind the attempt by Holy Joes/Janes to seize control of the local GOParty and are talking recall … Concealed Businesses of North Idaho are eyeing Cathyanne Nonini to upgrade their exec post … One wannabe begged Concealed Businesses not to publicize the fact it was endorsing him. Such is the reputation of the local $hadow PAC … The buzz is Commissioner Dick Panabaker, an ex-Hayden mayor, could become the town’s administrator if he loses his re-election bid. Any such move, of course, might surprise current administrator Bob Croffoot.

Wincing at `wench’

Post Falls police still struggle to get “wench” (a scornful term for a young woman), “winch” (a tool) and “wrench” (another tool) right in their reports. Last week, River City Motors reported the theft of a 300-pound “wench.” She should be easy to find … Meanwhile, PFPD Blue is looking for “a female, dirty, smelled like cat urine” who, along with a male on crutches, bought two gallons of iodine, a meth ingredient. The report also said from whence the wench came: Washington … Dumb Criminal of the Week honors go to the man, 23, who tore off attorney Scott Poorman’s screen door at 3:30 in the morning. Ultimately, the drunk realized he was at the wrong house and told Poorman: “Oh, sorry man.” He was sorrier still when the gendarmes arrived.

Huckleberries

Murder suspect Russell Moore, 33, provided the Quote of the Week via the Idaho News Observer: “It’s not every day I kill my wife. I don’t even deserve a wife after killing her” … Local Democrats (both of them) have hired a private eye to check out David Perry, their sheriff wannabe who has worked for racist Richard Butler. But they haven’t spoken directly to Perry. Who knows why not? … One thing’s certain about Perry: He can’t spell “Coeur d’Alene.” “E” goes before “U” - even on candidate’s petitions … On Thursday, the “Otter 2000 Bus Tour” stopped at the “Chicken Shop” in Bonners Ferry. The locals, however, know it as the Chic-N-Chop … Gordon Crow hasn’t had second thoughts about his decision to step down from his state Senate seat … I recall now why I hung up my softball glove - after watching Dave Wright pull up lame. Dave, the Panhandle National Forest supervisor, pitches for the Leit Force co-rec team … Sightem: Two geezers taunting Safeway checker Chantel Kuntz with a bag of morel mushrooms harvested from Fernan Mountain. Sure, they shared a few with her. But they wouldn’t reveal the location of their happy hunting grounds. Of course … Huckleberries count after the first lap of the spring around Tubbs Hill: four dogs on leashes. Four not. And one pile of Fido.

Parting shot

After two days of trying to find out how many adoptions occur in North Idaho, reporter Winston Ross sat down with a gaggle of Health and Welfare staffers and got this: Dunno.

So, he said he would have to use suspect figures from Boise. Responded the program manager: “Or, you could just leave that part out of the paper.” Not.