Charles The Entertainer

With his sneakers now safely resting in a closet, marking the end of a storied 16-year career, Charles Barkley is free to share his thoughts with the basketball-watching public as a studio analyst on Turner’s NBA coverage.

And if you’ve followed Barkley through the years, you know he has no problem expressing precisely what’s on his mind.

For instance, when asked the other day what he thought of getting higher ratings, Barkley said, “Someone asked me last week about ratings. Man, I don’t care about ratings.”

Ask a silly question… . Actually, Barkley went on to say that while he’s not overly concerned about audience size, he is worried about keeping the people who are tuned in interested.

“We get caught up so much in the ratings. Well, there’s always going to be good ratings and bad ratings, but if there’s a million people sitting at home watching the NBA, and I’m on, I want to entertain that million. I’m not going to worry about the other 10 million that are not watching that night. I’m going to entertain that 1 million that’s watching.”

If you can’t say something nice …

Despite Penn State’s worst football start in 36 years, it might be too much to ask fans not to boo.

But that’s just what the faculty did last week, approving a resolution to denounce “negative cheering” at football games.

The anti-booing resolution passed by the University Faculty Senate will be read before every game at Beaver Stadium.

“I think as soon as they make that announcement, there’s going to be a chorus of boos,” said Matt Brinker, a Penn State senior.

Could Prof. Paterno have proposed this?

… become the Lakers coach

The other day the Los Angeles Lakers invited 10,000 kids to watch them practice, but before the players took the court, the kids had to sit through several speakers, who reminded them to stay in school, stay off drugs and respect themselves.

Between each speaker, someone in full Lakers garb came out and whipped the kids into a frenzy, yelling, “Are you going to be happy to see the Lakers?”

Then coach Phil Jackson appeared and told the kids to “shut up” so he could talk to his players.

The kids, who have been properly taught by parents and teachers never to tell anyone to “shut up,” booed Jackson.

We’re burning to get tickets

When the Fort Worth Fire began operations as a minor-league hockey team, it wanted to have a catchy phone number, so it included its nickname.

After receiving complaints from fans and the Fort Worth Fire Department about wrong numbers, the team changed the number.

The last word …

“Apparently, Gardner has a condition that prohibits him from wrestling professionally. I think it’s called self-respect.”

- Jay Leno, after Olympic gold medalist Rulon Gardner turned down $1 million to wrestle in the WWF.